Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Some Links

Ben Stiller produced a comedy pilot in 1994 starring Jack Black and Owen Wilson (as a talking motorcycle). Check it out.

There's a website called the worstpreviews.com which has really bad movie trailers. Here's a great example.

And Sharon Stone's still awesome. I'd love to see her try to talk to my kids.

And a cat falling 80 feet from a tree...and running off unscathed.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Stuff, Office, TILATW

I love how when you in the middle of a book, but you're at work or something, and you end up daydreaming about the characters. Usually a sign its a good book.

Why isn't Twas in the spell checker?

We actually won our volleyball match, so we went 1-9, and my sisters came, yay, they rule.

Somehow, I only got 2 right, the site said it was inverse abilities.

There's this thing called Spa Week going around the country where you get discounts at spa's or something. Just thought I'd let you guys know if you had not seen

I bumped into one of my old college friends, Lauren, at the gym today. She was wearing a Rutgers Volleyball t-shirt that I sold her soph year. I think we are going to see Vendetta on Thursday, since she loves that Matrix stuff and X-Files and whatnot.

How do fat people clean their belly buttons? I've been having trouble cleaning mine lately. Might be that big fat roll that's in the way

The H2 and H3 have no place on this planet. They are Dune Buggies made for driving on the moon. If you have one, and are not driving on the moon, then I don't know what you are doing with them. And, if you have $60,000 to kill on a really bad car for Earth (double meaning), why not spend $120,000 and get the H1, the real army hummer. Of course, I think this guy who covers me at Bear Stearns, who drives his pimped out yellow H2 from his upper east side apt to work downtown every day is the coolest guy.

This is a great freaking law. The "whisper something in your sleep and you get an instant divorce" law. Its kinda like they improvised on the movie Beetlejuice.

It's been 10 years since that stupid Meatloaf song and I still don't know what he wouldn't do for love. (ya know, "I would do N - E - Thing for love, but I won't do that")

My little sister got promoted after working for 6 months out of school. I've been working for 4 years, have yet to get promoted. She is now the Assistant Merchandiser and Planner for e-Commerce at Tommy Hilfiger.

Ok, I'm usually humble and whatnot, but this is fucking cool!! My mom came to get lunch w/me on Friday and got me a plant. I think I need 5-7 more plants before it looks done. I like plants and since I don't have a family, I'm not putting pictures up everywhere like everyone else :). Anyway, she took some pictures.

Check out my OFFICE!!





























Things I Lied About This Week:

I told someone I got a "D" in Handwriting. Now that is actually true, but I said that it was in 9th grade, that it wasn't a subject, but that my teacher hated my handwriting so much, she added a special subject for it.

I told someone I actually enjoy feeling like I'm going to puke after I work out really hard

I told my mom that constantly feel dizzy and naucuous unless I'm drinking alcohol.

I told "Jenn Bull's Head" that I would call her this weekend.

I told someone that pulling the kinda sister swap would be easy (ie, you're friends w/one sister, but you want the other), it's not. It's damn hard. I don't mean to get on a rant here, but the real sister swap is virtually impossible (where you're dating one sister, and want the other). The only way that can work out is if you're a character in some bad 80's slasher flick and you're married to one of the sisters. In that scenario, you'd be able to pull it off, actually, you've prob been pulling it off for years, but you're def gonna die by the end of the movie.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Drinkin

This is how drunk I think I was Thursday night:

I think I was so drunk that I played a game called waterfall which is something like flipcup without the flipping and full beers.

I think I was so drunk that I had $120 worth of alcohol on Deutsche Bank

I think I was so drunk that I left the first bar, got in a cab, went to a second bar and continued to try to put drinks on DB's tab.

I think I was so drunk that one of the waitresses from the first bar was getting drinks at the second bar...now that can't be right

I think I was so drunk that I told the cover band that I was there a month earlier, and they played Good Boy by Barenaked Ladies, and they should play it again.

I think I was so drunk that when they played Good Boy and I sang it at the top of my lungs even though no one else in the bar knew any of the words

I think I was so drunk that I had some text message conversations last night that aren't half as fun as I remember them being, when I reread them today. Actually, they were quite vulgar.

I think I was so drunk that there is a new number in my phone which I've named "Jenn Bulls Head." I don't think I'll be calling.

I think I was so drunk that I got a big glass of water before I went to bed, put it on my night table and it was still full in the morning.

I think I was so drunk that I plugged my phone into its charger, without realizing that the charger was not plugged into the wall

I think I was so drunk that when I closed my eyes in the shower while rinsing the shampoo out of my hair this morning, I lost my balance.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Forgotten stuff

I got an office...its awesome...my company likes me

This weekend is my favorite weekend for basketball. (starts Thursday). The NCAA goes from 16 teams to 4, all good teams, good games expected.

No pictures from Florida.

Would you rather be on a turbulent airplane or in a NYC cab? I'd rather be in the plane, but I doubt anyone is with me on that.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

FL and stuff...w/o thinking

Incase you didn't read. Last month there was 1 unit of Iraqi soldiers that could fight, now there are ZERO.

The guys next to me tonight at Blue Smoke must have ordered $100 worth of food. It was absurd how much was on their table. Too bad we didn't stay to watch them eat it all.

Blue Smoke, or any BBQ place, is 3-1 guys to girls. If I were a girl, I'd def hang out at a bar at a bbq place.

If I were a guy who wanted to become a gyno, I think I'd just become a waxer. It would be much easier to become one (20 min course vs 6 years of school), and you'd prob do ok if you talked gay. Additionally, girls who get waxed are prob much cuter and younger than the old women w/gyno issues you'd have to look at on a normal basis.

I finished A Million Little Pieces. Cried a lil at the end. Then read the Smoking Gun report on how much is fake. It only took me an hour to read. Its like 50 pages long. Still liked the book, but not as much, though I'm glad it wasn't all real.

I've decided that if I buy a book, and read it, and like it, I'm going to give it away. Before I give it away, I'm going to write my name on the inside cover, and tell all that read it, to A) write their name down and B) pass it along. There's no reason for book shelves, none.

This is my building.

I went down to Florida this weekend to see some old friends and my old roommate and meet her boyfriend. Good times as always. Jess is doing great down in FL, so weird that I lived w/her for 2 years (and in the dorms for another 2) and then we went 3+ years w/o seeing eachother. Now, I've seen her 2x in 6 weeks and I hope that trend continues, she's awesome.

I did alot of sunning, a lot of walking on the beach a little drinking and a little watching of chicks on mechanical bulls.

I played softball w/some hardcore exbaseball players for my friends rec league. I show up in my yellow t-shirt, blue bathing suit and am a HUGE target in right field. I have not been this nervous about a sporting event since nationals my junior year of college. I have no played baseball 7th grade and softball since senior year of HS and have not ever caught fly balls, ever. So I'm out there in right field, using my awkward athletic abilities to catch everything thats sent my way. I prob made 2 errors (mostly letting a guy get 1 bases on a single and stuff like that) but didn't drop any balls or let anything get past me. YAY me. I was still nervous 10 min after the game, kinda silly, kinda real, kinda silly.

I learned that a plane is usually going 180-190 mph before it takes off and that the infield fly rule can apply to balls outside the infield at the umpires discretion. Depends on if the umpire thinks it is an easily catchable ball where if he dropped it intentionally, he'd be able to get a double play.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Some Things

Some Things I Think I Think:

I think going to work without a belt on is kinda like going to school in your underpants except the girls are the only ones who can see while the boys kinda know something's off but can't figure it out.

I think I was craving Popeye's today and the place happened to be closed. Crazy coincidence, considering I can't stand that food. I think I'd love if there were a Boston Market within 15 blocks of my office.

I think I was watching Big Love, the new HBO show about polygamy, and commented how I think I could pull that off (3 wives).

I think I was talking to my 3rd roommate today and he's like "You think you could pull it off? I'm doing it with 6 girls right now, and they don't even know about eachother!"

I think I don't care who you picked to win any game in the NCAA tournament. I think that people who tell everyone who they are picking is kinda like people who tell everyone about their bad beats in poker, no one cares but the person talking.

I think that Cadbury Mint Chocolate bars are amazing, and I think I've been having one piece a day for the last week just to savor it.

I think that taking a 3 hour nap on Saturday, and a 4 hour nap on Sunday really screwed up my week. I think it caused me to fall asleep at 3am Sunday, yay 4 hours of sleep before the work week.

I think I need to go to Florida this weekend. I think my whole family is somewhere between 3,000 and 6,000 miles away and I see no reason to stick around for the weekend.

I think I thought THIS was funny. I think I might go to hell because of it, but picturing it happening is just like a good scene from a bad movie or a bad scene from a good movie. Either way, I think the people I'd offend by laughing couldn't hear me laugh anyway.

I think THIS was pretty funny too. I think I love Ambien even more now.

Posted askbens, really good stuff I think, but I have no idea.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Pi Day

Someone really dorky sent me this today...I mean seriously people! That's my second text message chain letter in the last 2 weeks.

Happy pi day! (it is officially 3/14 at 1:59am)

Celebrate pi day by eating pie, watching the movie pi, or trying to run/ski/skate/skydive fast enough to experience time dilation (3/14 it is also Albert Einstein's birthday!)

http://www.piday.org/

Monday, March 13, 2006

Book Report

The first book report I ever wrote was in 2nd grade, a dinosaur book, and I think I plagiarized most of that essay. I see no reason why this book report would be any different from that. Hopefully, I'll do one of these every month or 2 or 3 or 6 or whenever I actually finish a book.



A Million Little Pieces, by James Frey

Highly entertaining look into the process, thoughts, life, of a man going through drug rehab.

James Frey writes like I wish I could write. To elaborate: 1) He writes without much punctuation, yet his writing is surprisingly understandable. 2) He writes in a stream of consciousness, I have no idea how he remembers the details he does, but its very amusing listening to him think. 3) He's funny when I'm not sure he's trying to be. 4) The book rates extremely high on the unintentional comedy scale due to the whole - Oprah loves the book, then doesn't care if its fake, then changes her mind and cares and tells off Frey - issue. 5) There are some amazing passages (some of which I'll share below), that kinda blew my mind. 6) Frey is full of theories, some are bullshit, some are funny, but most seem like he honestly believes them.

For some reason, I don't finish many books that I start. My roommate actually gave me credit for not finishing Angels and Demons because he thought it was so hard to put down. I couldn't finish it b/c, being a scientific oriented thinker, I didn't believe in the science behind an "anti-matter" bomb. I also HATE BAD WRITING and no matter how good the damn story is, I can't stand to read a bad writer. (I did get through all of Da Vinci somehow) Now, bad writers are successful all the time, esp. ones with good stories, but DAN BROWN IS A HORRIBLE WRITER. With A Million Little Pieces, I knew going in that parts were "fake," yet, because the story was still mostly believable, I read the whole thing. Actually, I lied. I have yet to finish the book, but I plan to this weekend in Florida. I really don't care that some of the book is fake. In fact, I think that makes it more interesting. I mean, he's talking about puking and bleeding and passing out so much, I would have put $100 on him not remembering much of the experience. Anyway, the more topical the book, the more interesting.

Like I said earlier, my original book report from 2nd grade was mostly constructed by writing down my favorite quotes from the book. Here are a few from this book.

"I know a bit about the loss of dignity. I know that when you take away a man's dignity there is a hole, a deep black hole filled with despair, humiliation, and self-hatred, filled with emptiness, shame and disgrace, filled with loss and isolation and Hell. It's a deep, dark, horrible fucking hole, and that hole is where people like me live our sad-ass, fucked-up, dignity-free, inhuman lives, and where we die, alone, miserable, wasted and forgotten."

"I stand and begin pacing back and forth across the length of the Bathroom. I cross my arms and begin rubbing my body. I get cold and a chll shoots up my spine. One second I want to cry, one second I want to kill, one second I want to die. I think about running but there's nowhere to run so I pace and I rub my body and I feel cold."

Come on people, that’s good stuff.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Guido vs Douche

A new site that goes along the same theme as the douchebaggedness site. Actually, the Guido site is phenominal in terms of interaction. Quite entertaining.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Robin's Story

I'm interested in your perspective as a dater, just interested in how you would interpret something. I had told this guy i would meet him friday night. We talked on the phone once, on IM a little, he seemed normal enough. A few hours bfore we were supposed to meet, my co-worker sends an email saying two of his friends backed out going to see spamalot. I felt really bad cancelling b/c i'm too nice, so i figure whatever, i'm sure he'll say no- but i'll see if he wants to just meet in the city, see the show- but i didn't intend on paying for his ticket- since we had never even met. So when i ask, i tell him the situation, tell him the price of the ticket, the location of the seats and ask if he wants the other ticket.

If a girl presented that to you, a girl who you'd never met, and told you the price of the ticket, would you think she was going to pay for you? If someone ends up with an extra ticket to something, and tells me the price then i believe it's implied. It's awkard to say "you have to pay for your ticket" on the phone.

So he said he loves broadway, why not. There was no chemistry- we both felt that. He didnt think it was a match either, said that specifically. I waited to for him to do something before i asked about the ticket b/c i felt bad just sending a random emial. So after he said he wasn't interested, I sent him a nice email about how i realize he must have forgotten and he's like "Very cute with the ticket thing, i almost thought you were serious!" Ya, that was his literal response. He's 32, it's not like he's a stupid kid. He lives at home with mom and dad though. I wrote back and said there must be a misunderstaning and that i did not intend on paying for a broadway ticket for a blind date. Yada Yada and that if he could not afford it or chose not to pay it, i would not bother him about it.

Well i understand being upset over paying for dinner, but a broadway show....why would i do that????? I wouldn't expect a guy to pay for me for a broadway show who i had never met.

Ben's Opinion: NOW YOU KNOW HOW EVERY GUY FEELS AFTER A BAD FIRST DATE!! I can't imagine calling a girl after our date and saying something like "I know I offered to pay for dinner, but I wasn't sure yet if I wanted to go out again. Now, I'm sure I don't, so can you please send me a check for $60? I'll send you a stamp if you need one." SUCK IT UP ROBIN, AND TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF THE NEXT GUY WHO TAKES YOU OUT TO MAKE UP THE LOST CASH!

Sunday, March 05, 2006

End of the Weak

Last year, Hoboken St Patrick's day meant chilling at home while 150 people came in and out and drank 4 kegs. Great relaxing day. This year, Hoboken St Patrick's day meant drinking from 10am until 6pm all over the city. Twas exhausting, especially when you walk around 4 miles during the process. I went to 4 house parties, 4 bars and still didn't see 2 groups of friends I wanted to see.

Saw Lauren and Dave before I headed back to the city. Such good friends its kinda strange to think how random it was that I met them. If my mother hadn't told me to "do something productive with my life" while I was watching TV the day after I graduated from college. Then I would not have moved out of the house 6 days later and would not have ever met them. Crazy Lauren is totally quitting her job June 30th and joining me at the my shore house anytime she can.

Went to Windsor, Canada and Detroit this week for 28 hours to check out some of our gaming investments for work. One of the analysts on the trip had a Motorola Sliver Phone. I'd talked about something like this years ago and they finally made it. Ipod, Good Camera, Phone, all in one. About time. And FYI you Razor users, its so out!

Speaking of razors, I totally forgot one and shaving cream for this one day trip. I told the hotel and they had a shaving kit sent to my room. That was the worst and most painful shave ever. I'm never using a disposable again and the shaving cream was like lotion, not foam.

I think one of the most embarrassing stories I heard was about a girl waking the guy up at 5am to say "wanna fool around" and him thinking she said "wanna turn around." So he turns around and goes back to sleep and she's just sitting there like What The Fuck.

At some point of drunkenness, Karaoke becomes a sing along. Especially in a private room, the microphones become unnecessary and anyone who can see the big screen, kinda just sings.

During a CBS broadcast of a college basketball game, a girl fell off the top of the pyramid and needed to be taken off in a stretcher with a neck support on. As they wheel her off, the band starts playing and she starts moving her arms to the cheer. Was the most absurd thing I've seen this week. I'll never understand the cheerleader, never.

Question of the Week:

Do you like to hear that a possible love interest is experienced, or even a story about a past lover? does that turn you off or make you like them more b/c that means they are a hot commodity? If I told a girl that when I was in Puerto Rico, I met a girl and we made out on the beach...is that bad for a new interest to hear?

Personally, hearing about a girl's past love life kinda makes me jealous, but makes me want that person more (if I've not hooked up w/that person yet). But I also think that I don't want to hear stories like that b/c I kinda like to think of people as virginal. With girls, and I could be wrong, I think they might like to hear that I dated a pop singer or princess, giving them some justification / credibility for their decision. For me, I don't need to hear that other people liked my girl for me to like her, for others, it could be different. Thoughts?

Later this week, "Book Report"

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Questions

Questions of the weekend:

How long can you not wash a pair of jeans that you probably wear twice a week? Would 3 months be unacceptable?

After you brush your teeth, do you rinse out with water or just spit? Did you ever notice that the people on TV shows only spit, never rinse? Does anyone in real life do that?