Saturday, April 29, 2006

Who Dun It?

I'm not one to believe in conspiracy theories but considering how little I trust the government, I watched some interesting video's this morning.

This one is short and simple enough

This was interesting, kinda long

2nd Half

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Activism/Politics/World Stuff

First: Darfur. There's are rally in DC on Sunday and anyone who can should go. If you can't then just talk to someone about what's going on or read online about what's going on. We need to educate the public so we can all get behind the military and actually do something to stop a horrible horrible genocide. I joined a group called 3g, which is slightly activist, slightly educational, and slightly fun. Its for 3G's or 3rd generation Holocaust survivors. Anyway, they had a talk about Darfur, and are organizing busses to take people to DC for the day. Obv, its something very important, and there are too many similarities for every Jew not to be very very upset by what's happening over there. My sister gave a speech last week infront of 27 people, educating them, and she's going on Sunday. If you can, go, if you can't. Read, Listen, and write letters to your congressmen. If you want to find a bus to get down there, shoot me an email.

Flight 93, too soon? I understand that you don't want to watch the movie...or that it makes you feel weird and sad and upset...but to say its too soon is not appropriate. 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years after the attacks, there were specials on TV, about the events, families that lost loved ones, and tales of heroism. We're now up against 5 years since it happened. Now, just because it would be painful to watch, just as those TV shows were, does not mean its too soon or inappropriate. For some, Schindlers List was painful...that doesn't mean it should not have been made or was too soon or inappropriate. The people who's family members were on that flight are supporting the movie, and, our feelings, though powerful toward the day are nothing compared to theirs.

I was watching VH1's 40 greatest pranks yesterday. #27 was the prank of the missing "W"'s from the computers at the White House. They quoted Ari Fliesher saying how he would have written "wow" when talking about the damage but all he could write was "o". Of course, the biggest prank was actually that this never happened. The White House said they would document all the damage but Republicans in congress were so upset, they ordered a GAO (Governmental accounting office) investigation. The investigation concluded that there was no damage that wouldn't be expected in a transition of a long tenant. The real prank was so good that most people still think its true, including VH1. PROOF

I wrote to my 2 Croatian e-pals last week (I've asked some gramaricists and they told me e-pals was the proper term). Anyway, they both wrote me back, even with the 6 month hiatus, but I won't be seeing either of them anytime soon :(.

Letter from my boy Dan, in Sri Lanka:

"Yeah I am okay. The bombing was actually quite close to my office. I don't feel really personally in danger, yet, but it is a bit tense as people now think fullscale war is on its way back. Though before I came people were saying the same thing after several killings and then there was peace talks. That is the weirdest thing about this conflict is that it seems at any moment there might be a return to war or a breakthrough in the peace talks. But for now it is stuck in some purgatory that no one seems to know what is happening next. The analysis I here (wildly pro-government) is that since the Tigers just got banned in Canada and now maybe also the EU very soon, they are trying to provoke an ethnic backlash by the Sinhalese majority so that they can turn around and claim to therefore be defending the oppressed Tamils. That still is their claim but they are increasingly looking like a terrorist group rather than 'freedom fighters' as many many Tamils want nothing to do with them. There was supposed to be peace talks in Geneva this week and so far the govenrment has gone out of its way to be restrained and accomodating so that the TIgers have no pretext to blame the government for the failure of the talks. The idea is to expose the Tigers for not being serious about peace (wish Israel would try this!) But after an attack on a senior military commander (head of the army) there was retaliatory military attacks in the east last night.

So the hardest thing for now is just fearing that the country is about to fall apart before our eyes. Being white I am actually safer since they try not to get foreigners invovled less they bring down the wrath of foreign governments who often are rather neutral on the conflict.

As long as there are not attacks on civilians in Colombo I feel okay.

So, that is a day in the life in Colombo. I was plannign a trip towards the northeast this weekend but have to see what happens since where I want to go is towards the rebel territory. Plus I was told not to travel at night around there because cars get attacked by wild elephants!

If only the paper I am writing was as thrilling as the rest of Sri Lanka..."


For some more lightheaded stuff, check out askbens today.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Titles

Bad Story:
I lost my notebook last week in New Jersey. I write everything in it, including notes about future postings and my grocery list. I left the notebook in my grocery cart at the ShopRite. Maybe it was a sign that I should not have been buying so much bread on Passover, but even w/my address in it, I doubt I'm getting it back. The only bad thing about losing it was that I need to get a new one...oh yea, my most best man speech was in it too...but I think I wrote and edited it enough times that its mostly memorized. Anyway, its hurt my writing a little bit.

Pure Silliness When You Picture It In Your Head:
I was in a race this week. Me vs My Water Bottle, and I lost. That might sound preposterous, but after the gym, I put the water bottle in the elevator, hit 12, and ran the stairs. It was at 11, on its way back down, when I got to my floor. I estimate my loss was 8 seconds. WOW was I spent, I'm going to win that race by the end of the year.

Random Conversation, Witty Line:
I was talking to a waitress about her stay in prison, and now she's a writer, and she wanted to ask me questions, so I gave her my site. I then told her I don't judge people, I'm just judgmental. She said w/stuff like that, I must be a writer.

To Be, or Not to Be...Taller?
I had 3 people tell me this week that they think I got taller. Now one of them I saw over a year earlier, but maybe its time I measured myself. Not that it matters, I mean, does your actual height actually matter?

New Theory (possible topic of a dissertation):
My job revolves around research. The base of knowledge I could know is infinite. For example, no matter how much I work, and how much I know, there will always be more work and more to know. Thus, as a percentage, I will always know nothing. ( 10 / infinity, or 1,000 / infinity both equal ZERO). Therefore, there is no reason to do any work at all. I think its a phenomenal theory. Phenomenal.

How Did I Forget!:
I wrote about the best inventions of all time a few months ago....but I left out my favorite!. My fake binoculars (I'm not sure if that's the site I got them from) have been awesome accessories for me for the last 4 years. At Billy Joel on Wednesday, my friend got trashed for on $4 worth of alcohol....that's just awesome.

Where Did All the Good Times Go?"
My roommate went to Arizona and like normal, got me a shot glass. He's in the Bahamas now and I'm sure I'll get another. I don't know how its possible we only have 10 shot glasses or so. When I got to college, I had none. I prob purchased 10, stole 10, and was given 10 and I left college with 5...I don't know where they went. He's prob given me 10, I've prob given him 10, and somehow we have about 7. Where do they go?

Who Are These People And Where Do They Come From?:
Apple, Moses, Suri, Lourdes. We all know what these words have in common. Some idiot celebrity picked them out and named their kids with them. Why can't a celebrity name their kid Michael, or Lauren. WTF.

New West Coast Word, or Meaning:
I was talking to my cousin who lives in Cali. He was talking about how he was "macking" it to some girl. I figured it meant he was hitting on her and she was receptive. Apparently, it means they were making out, or hooking up. I had no idea. Caused some confusion. Is this new or was I always wrong about the definition.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Ask me

New ASKBENS Posted

I also created a new site. I'm not sure if I'll reveal it. Its going to be so much fun, someone random already commented on it. Good luck to it.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Thinks We Think And Do Not Say

I was watching one of my favorite movies, Jerry McGuire, and he writes a mission statement at 4 in the morning that he entitles "The Things We Think And Do Not Say." It got me thinking, what do I think w/o saying. What would my mental breakdown essay look like? I think a little came out last week, but this one will be much more fun. Please, Please, Please, leave your own versions of things that you think but would not say.

I hate tube tops: A) They push down your boobs and make them look awkward B) You can't dance with them on. C) You have to constantly pull on the top of your tube, like every 20 seconds. D) They'd look better with straps or if you had a real bra underneath with straps coming up from it.

It was worth the risk: I made a decision to possibly give up 1 friend/acquaintance this week, for the opportunity to make another. It was worth it. I consciously decided I'd rather be friends with neither, than be friends with the first with no chance at the second. I didn't tell the second that I was willing to give up the first for a chance w/the second, but I think the second knew this. It was worth it.

I don't like thongs either: They only look good if you have a perfect behind. Otherwise, girls should stick with regulars or boy shorts, which are my fav.

The gym is no fun without girls. I've talked to quite a few girls who would love to go to a girls only gym. I understand this, and I also know that from the depths of my own consciousness, they are right to want this. I know this b/c I went to the gym Friday afternoon and the ratio was 34-0, no girls at all...and I almost didn't want to be there. Not saying that seeing girls work out is my incentive to work out or anything, just saying it was something I thought.

Jeans are more comfortable than sweat pants. Tell me if I'm wrong.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Thinking about the Shore, Sunglasses, Jellybeans, NYT

I think that in NY, its proper form to wear tacky $5 sunglasses you buy from street vendors. I think almost everyone does it.

I think that they should outlaw black jellybeans. They must cause 5-10 deaths a year simply from gagging.

I think girls have it easy when talking about their male friends, they have "guy friends" and they have "boy friends." There's nothing like that for guys to use, only "girl friends."

I think I told 3 bartenders, when asked how I was doing, that I was just happy I wasn't passed out and puking up blood yet, but that I prob wouldn't be able to claim that later in the evening.

I think Scrubs is Family Guy w/real people in a hospital. The flashbacks and quick random scenes make them very similar.

I think the guys on the street that hand out menu's and passes to strip clubs have started giving me advertisements to different barber shops. Its like they see me coming and the know I have not had a hair cut in 4 months.

I think if you're a JETS fan, you've got to dread the draft.

I think Pink continues to entertain me during the day with emails like "I was on the phone with my gf and i go 'ooh, the boss's son is here. I want to fuck the shit out of him.' I didn't realize my boss was in hearing distance and then he comes over and goes, 'my son, really?...thats funny.'"

I think my 3rd roommate just questioned that if he can call 10 girls right now to hook up with, how many guys can each of those girls call?

I think this guys is a freaking idiot and I think I love stuff like this.

I think that walking up to a girl and saying something like "we'd look really cute together" is not a good line.

I think that I had a dream about my shore house last week.

I think my dad sends editorials to the New York Times, just to show me who's the better writer. He claims that he had 4 of his 6 entries published.

I think I've started putting random guys collars down when I see them with popped collars. I just walk up behind them and say, "hey, you're collar is screwed up, let me fix it for you." Then I give them, and their friends, a piece of paper with this website on it and tell them to "check it out."

I think that the F/V subway smells, and has ugly people on it. Worst subway line in terms of aesthetics.

I think this is something silly for Passover.

I think if Harry Potter was a real person, he would have committed suicide after the 5th and definitely after the 6th book?

Summary of a Character

I feel like this kind of entry is really boring for some, and interesting for others. For me, it was inspired writing, inspired by Amy. Though somewhat overdramatic (authors are allowed to exaggerate right?), this is something I actually edited.

What do you fantasize about?

I’ve always fantasized about doing something to get noticed. Desiring to be remembered as someone above the rest, AS A MAN among boys, A GOD among men. Most of you know, or assume, I think of myself this way. I’ll fantasize about wining lottery so that I could give most of it away. I’ll fantasize about things like playing volleyball after losing a leg. I’ll fantasize about being pitied. I’ll fantasize about pulling someone from in front of a moving car, and getting hit in the process. Just 2 nights ago, I had a dream that I leapt from a staircase and fell 2 flights to catch a baby. Does everyone do that? Why do I?

But I’ve always been HARD TO READ, and closed. It’s not bad though; I’m obviously strong and secure and confident. I just get into a funk sometimes, have a bad day WITH CONFIDENCE and I struggle to FEEL SECURE. I’ve got no idea where those feelings come from.

I never ask for help, hardly ASK FOR ADVICE, and wouldn’t take it if it were offered. My mother readily offers SUGGESTIONS AND SUPPORT, and maybe that’s why I’ve always been so reluctant to take it from anyone. It’s been years since I took someone else’s advice, (except about job stuff). Its stilly how much support I could have if I wanted it. On Friday, my Mother called me just to tell me that I AM NOT AN IDIOT and that the things that happened to me last weekend happen to everyone. She even felt the need to reiterate this at the end of the phone convo as well, just incase I had doubts. Maybe it’s sad, but its been a long time since I felt like I needed support. (My Bar Mitzvah)

Some people think I SHOULD TALK, but I never have. I do not talk about anything. I wouldn't know what to talk about, wouldn't know what to say...wouldn't know what getting it out is. I don't know what to say. I DO NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING. I don't know if my writing counts as expressing myself. Some might think so, some might not. I don't know if I feel things the same way others do, and I don't know if I care if I can or can't or do express myself. I don't know if I have emotions like normal people have emotions. I do not talk about anything.

There are things like the fact that I've NEVER been in a fight, where I question my own primal instincts, but they are so useless in this society. I've always just thought of confrontation as low class, BELOW MYSELF, stupid and meaningless because I'M A MAN among boys, I'm one person above the rest. In 6th grade, I remember feeling that fighting was TOO PRIMAL for me. But acts of aggression can be liberating, inspiring, and life changing, and I don’t know them that well.

I should be going out, and getting drunk, and puking, and talking to people, and screwing people, and pissing people off, and being nasty, and being aggressive...I just feel shy sometimes...I don't talk to people I don't know. I don't walk up to girls. The one's I've dated, that I've met at bars, they've come to me. I do not talk to anyone.

Everyone goes through that phase of being a little DIRTIER...but I never have. I've never gone slummin, or hoggin, or done charity work, or even slept w/someone I didn't know for less than 6 months....(hoggin and charity work are very similar...kinda like, you have not gotten some in a while, so you just pick a not so attractive girl, and make her month) I've never hooked up w/someone I didn't intend to call the next day...but if you're going hoggin, or doing charity work, or even slumming it, you've obviously decided before you even walked up to the girl, that you were not going to call her. BEING A DICK can be liberating.

Chivalry is forgotten. Its been replaced by aggressive, meat heads who do roids, wear chains, and black undershirts and reek of the cosmetics section at Macy's. They walk around like gods, but they look like PAWNS TO ME. I pity the good girls. They must hate guys, judging us men on the few that have the balls to walk up to them and talk to them. Its unfortunate, that the BALCO boys are the ones they must fend through. No wonder they end up with people 20 years older, at clubs I'll never hear about, in places I've never been. This is the only way they can escape from the herd.

We honorable men have no place in the bar scene. Most people I talk to when out, wrongly think I'm hitting on them, when in reality, as with most of my life, I'm just looking for inspiration. I'm looking for someone who's so interesting that I AM INSPIRED to talk to them the next day. No one sees this. My roommates girlfriends must think that I'm a predator, when in actuality, I've only gone for one (We have yet to determine why she didn't call me back, but lets just say I might have been a little to inspired). When they see me now, they look past me like some guy who struck out or missed his shot, while I know better. I know that they were one who categorized me and judged me and didn't realize I was looking for a best friend first, and a hookup second. I feel that my friendliness is constantly MISCONSTRUED as PREDATORY.

Yet, everyone is different. There is no RIGHT way to do anything. The only WRONG way, is not to try. I WILL CONTINUE TO TRY, as big a waste of my time as that might be.

In the interim, I should STOP TRYING so hard, and I should TRY HARDER. Focus on what I can control, and focus away from that which I can't. I should buy that apartment, I should open that bar, I should start that company, I should run that company, I should sell that idea, I should STOP CHASING that which should come to me. I SHOULD.

I’m not sure that it counts for getting it off my chest if I don't post this. It was a strange evening that provoked this, its not me, but a point in time glance at emotion. The above is NOT me, but an idea I conceived and expanded upon. Similar to my posting in Nov 14, 2004, when I came home really pissed off Obviously, I’m still putting a little too much weight toward the opposite sex. Some things need to be said, whether right or wrong, truthful or lies, there's no reason to hide things from the blind.

Ten Reasons Tonight Might Have Sucked

I had 4 parties to go to, went to the one I thought would be the most fun. Prob should have gone to the other ones w/my better friends, they might not have sucked.

It felt like everyone was looking at me like I'd done something wrong. Being paranoid sucks.

As I talk to my roommates friends, they just don't seem as friendly as normal, my roommates friends suck.

As I talk to people I don't know, they just don't seem as friendly as normal. Girls suck.

Maybe I'm just a little manic tonight, my mood turned upside down for no good reason. Being manic sucks

I need to cut my hair b/c this long hair thing might suck. thing just isn't getting a good reception

I think the shirt I was wearing might suck

My friends who I didn't hang out w/are going to give it to me for not showing up. That's gonna suck.

I bumped into an ex's good friend. It's that ex's bday on Monday. That fucking sucked.

I need to stop focusing on what I can't control, (meeting the right person) and work on what I can (opening my bar, starting LNF, starting the BSS (wow, that venture will have the same initials as me, that's a sign)). Focusing on what's important, but not controllable sucks.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Introducing Idiot Boy

Idiot Boy had a few very good days this week / weekend, thus Ben didn't have so many good days. I don't think I've written about him before, but I've referred to Idiot Boy or Retard Boy a few times to everyone. Idiot boy obviously refers to myself...when I have a string of uncharacteristic brain farts that cause me to do really stupid things. When Idiot Boy surfaces, as Beth pointed out, I go from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.

Friday morning, Idiot Boy noticed his cell phone was running low on batteries, so he brought his charger to work. Unfortunately, Idiot Boy never took his phone charger out of his briefcase. That evening, Idiot Boy decided he needed to go for a drink or 2, didn't need his briefcase for the weekend, and left it at work. Friday evening, Idiot Boy's phone battery died, with the charger obviously still at work. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy, went out w/some friends Friday evening. He probably scared one of his new friends, so much so that she said "it wasn't such a good idea" to come hang out anymore. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Saturday morning, Idiot Boy noticed his friends away message "Packing for my move back to LA" and messaged his friend. Idiot boy told his friend that he was surprised b/c his friend had not mentioned that this was an option at all. Idiot Boy had thought his friend liked working and living in New York and couldn't understand how his friend was just going to get up and leave by the end of the month. 30 minutes into this disturbing conversation, Idiot Boy's friend finally asked him, "do you know what day it is today?" (It was April 1st) Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy tried something similar on another friend, it didn't work. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

A few weeks ago, Idiot Boy's computer started making noises, like the fan was hitting something. Idiot Boy did nothing about those noises, and they soon went away. On Saturday, Idiot Boy's computer turned blue, read "Hardware Malfunction" and this is no longer working. Idiot Boy will have to go to the library to post this entry. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Saturday evening, Idiot Boy purchased a bottle of Champaign for his friend who moved into a new apartment. He put the bottle in the fridge since he was not going to her new apt for a few hours. Right before Idiot Boy got on the subway, he remembered that the champagne was still in the fridge and thus he had to buy another one. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy needed to take the subway down to Houston Street. He was well aware that it was probably the stop after Astor Place on the 6, but when he got to the Bleecker stop, he didn't get off, thinking Houston was the next one. Of course, Bleecker was the Houston stop, and Idiot Boy at to walk back 3 blocks to get to Houston. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Saturday night, Idiot Boy was supposed to leave his friends apartment, go with her to a party, and then meet some other new friends at their party (which happened to be close to Idiot Boy's apartment). Of course, the name and address of the place were on his cell phone, and it was dead. He also had no idea the name of the girl who's party it was. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy decided to stay at the first bar with his friend and get really drunk. While talking to a girl, he was told by his friend, that she'd just had a kid in November. Idiot Boy was drunk enough to waste the rest of the night talking to her. In the morning, Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy thought ahead about his plans for Sunday. Sending his friend Lauren a text Friday night saying "My phone may die by tomorrow so leave a message if you have to cancel. See you at 12:30. Of course, Idiot Boy didn't say where they were meeting at 12:30, her apartment or the restaurant. So he sat at the restaurant in Hoboken, while Lauren sat at her apt wondering if he was going to pick her up. Realizing only at 12:45, that his text message might have been a little cryptic, he figured out the problem and used Jana's phone to check his messages and finally meet up w/Lauren...Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Jana's birthday was in early February. Jana had a party, and Idiot Boy forgot to bring her his present. 2 months later, Idiot Boy handed it over. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

For some strange reason, even though it was 70 degrees and sunny, Idiot Boy decided to wear a sweater and a spring jacket. This would not have been such a bad idea, if Idiot Boy and Lauren had not decided to sit and eat outside in the sun. That would not have been that unbearable, had Idiot Boy and Lauren not decided to take a 30 min walk on the pier, to her apartment uptown. Idiot Boy was sweating the whole time and Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Once at Lauren's apartment, Lauren gave Idiot Boy some cookies she made to take home. Idiot Boy put them in his jacket pocket. When Idiot Boy got home 3 hours later, the cookies were slightly smashed and the chocolate chips were melted. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.
Computer not working...hoping I don't need a new one.