Monday, April 03, 2006

Introducing Idiot Boy

Idiot Boy had a few very good days this week / weekend, thus Ben didn't have so many good days. I don't think I've written about him before, but I've referred to Idiot Boy or Retard Boy a few times to everyone. Idiot boy obviously refers to myself...when I have a string of uncharacteristic brain farts that cause me to do really stupid things. When Idiot Boy surfaces, as Beth pointed out, I go from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.

Friday morning, Idiot Boy noticed his cell phone was running low on batteries, so he brought his charger to work. Unfortunately, Idiot Boy never took his phone charger out of his briefcase. That evening, Idiot Boy decided he needed to go for a drink or 2, didn't need his briefcase for the weekend, and left it at work. Friday evening, Idiot Boy's phone battery died, with the charger obviously still at work. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy, went out w/some friends Friday evening. He probably scared one of his new friends, so much so that she said "it wasn't such a good idea" to come hang out anymore. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Saturday morning, Idiot Boy noticed his friends away message "Packing for my move back to LA" and messaged his friend. Idiot boy told his friend that he was surprised b/c his friend had not mentioned that this was an option at all. Idiot Boy had thought his friend liked working and living in New York and couldn't understand how his friend was just going to get up and leave by the end of the month. 30 minutes into this disturbing conversation, Idiot Boy's friend finally asked him, "do you know what day it is today?" (It was April 1st) Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy tried something similar on another friend, it didn't work. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

A few weeks ago, Idiot Boy's computer started making noises, like the fan was hitting something. Idiot Boy did nothing about those noises, and they soon went away. On Saturday, Idiot Boy's computer turned blue, read "Hardware Malfunction" and this is no longer working. Idiot Boy will have to go to the library to post this entry. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Saturday evening, Idiot Boy purchased a bottle of Champaign for his friend who moved into a new apartment. He put the bottle in the fridge since he was not going to her new apt for a few hours. Right before Idiot Boy got on the subway, he remembered that the champagne was still in the fridge and thus he had to buy another one. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy needed to take the subway down to Houston Street. He was well aware that it was probably the stop after Astor Place on the 6, but when he got to the Bleecker stop, he didn't get off, thinking Houston was the next one. Of course, Bleecker was the Houston stop, and Idiot Boy at to walk back 3 blocks to get to Houston. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Saturday night, Idiot Boy was supposed to leave his friends apartment, go with her to a party, and then meet some other new friends at their party (which happened to be close to Idiot Boy's apartment). Of course, the name and address of the place were on his cell phone, and it was dead. He also had no idea the name of the girl who's party it was. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy decided to stay at the first bar with his friend and get really drunk. While talking to a girl, he was told by his friend, that she'd just had a kid in November. Idiot Boy was drunk enough to waste the rest of the night talking to her. In the morning, Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy thought ahead about his plans for Sunday. Sending his friend Lauren a text Friday night saying "My phone may die by tomorrow so leave a message if you have to cancel. See you at 12:30. Of course, Idiot Boy didn't say where they were meeting at 12:30, her apartment or the restaurant. So he sat at the restaurant in Hoboken, while Lauren sat at her apt wondering if he was going to pick her up. Realizing only at 12:45, that his text message might have been a little cryptic, he figured out the problem and used Jana's phone to check his messages and finally meet up w/Lauren...Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Jana's birthday was in early February. Jana had a party, and Idiot Boy forgot to bring her his present. 2 months later, Idiot Boy handed it over. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

For some strange reason, even though it was 70 degrees and sunny, Idiot Boy decided to wear a sweater and a spring jacket. This would not have been such a bad idea, if Idiot Boy and Lauren had not decided to sit and eat outside in the sun. That would not have been that unbearable, had Idiot Boy and Lauren not decided to take a 30 min walk on the pier, to her apartment uptown. Idiot Boy was sweating the whole time and Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Once at Lauren's apartment, Lauren gave Idiot Boy some cookies she made to take home. Idiot Boy put them in his jacket pocket. When Idiot Boy got home 3 hours later, the cookies were slightly smashed and the chocolate chips were melted. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.


Anonymous said...

ok that might have been the most annoying thing to read

Anonymous said...

So did I meet Ben or idiot boy? Because I could probably come up with instances for both...

Anonymous said...

Ummmm. I am speechless.

Anonymous said...

Readin idiot boy over and over again made me wanna gauge my eyes out

Anonymous said...

Well then, that was certaintly an interesting turn of events for you. sounds like a very crazy weekend, that only an idiot can handle. Anyway, hope you don't have another one of those for a long time!

Anonymous said...

just kill yourself...

Meistro said...

Thanks guys