Monday, May 29, 2006

Ben's World, Shore Time, Excellent

Quick summary for everyone:

The characters:
12 people in the house, only 7 came this weekend (8 for 1 night). 5 guys, 7 girls.

The Lifestyle:
Our days and evenings were pretty standard. Wake at 11, beach around 12, back by 5, showering and cards and drinking, dinner at 8, bars at 10, home at 2...then late night hanging for those who are troopers. This was standard for most of us, with one outlier passing out by 12 every night because she was drinking one day. I can't imagine this routine changing much through the summer, though I'd like to spend less than $314 every weekend.

The House:
The house situation was great. We have an average sized living room, kitchen, dining room, basement, and 3 bed rooms. Since Tom and I are full shares, we pretty much have one of the rooms to ourselves. I worry that people might be unnecessarily sleeping on the floors, but if they don't speak up, they'll have to deal.

The Nightlife:
The bar scene was interesting to say the least. The men's heads looked different, but all had the same body: blue jeans, tight dark colored t-shirt, arms slightly bigger than normal looking, and necks that were almost nonexistent. The girls who were intermingled in this ocean of interchangeable heads were quite classy to put it sarcastically. They strutted around with these unfriendly looks on their faces, tons of make-up, big hair (I didn't think the 80's Jersey stereotype was still true), and exposed breasts. I can't complain about the eye candy, but sometimes too much skin isn't a good thing. Per the usual protocol, I didn't really talk to anyone I didn't know. This was fine by me. I hate to sound like an elitist bitch, but I really didn't want to talk to most of the people I was in the same bar as. I even said something (while drunk) like "I wonder if anyone is wearing a shirt that cost more than mine (it was a $50 shirt The Factor made me buy). Now the girls at the beach...I def wanted to talk to them :).

I know I've referenced THIS ARTICLE numerous times, but I've been seeing too many pink shirts lately, especially this weekend, so let me reiterate from the article "Pink shirt: I don't give a shit what any of these fashionistas say, pink is not the new blue. Pink is fucking pink. Quit watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and put on a game. Ever notice that no sports teams in any league have pink anywhere in their uniforms? Not even the WNBA. Pink is the color of flowers and hippie's hair. No man should EVER wear this color in any way. EVER. If you wear a pink shirt at any time you are a douchebag. You look like a pussy and a sissy, and I want to shit down your throat. Especially when you wear a pink shirt with a..." (popped collar)

The Beach:
Totally crowded with people of all ages from everywhere. Our house lines up with the surfing area of the beach, which may become slightly annoying when the water is warm enough to swim in. Elissa was the first to brave the frigid water, and when she described the experience as "life affirming," I decided I'd prob be waiting until July 1st. I'm not sure how this happened, or was possible, but I was surprised at how good girls look. Since I hadn't seen skin in 8 months, it was almost a shock that my mind wasn't prepared for.

A Couple Fun Stories:
The Chainsaw was in full effect Saturday night. I was making bets with The Bridge that The Chainsaw would cut himself down and out of a fun night with a cute girl. The Bridge was so sure he was money, and we'd warned her of his previous mishaps, but she was still confident in his closing abilities. Now she knows that next time we'll all need to help, and by help, I'm talking about using The Skillet. (ok, I know no one will have any idea what this is about, but if you were there, you'd know, and I obv know, so ask).

Not only did I drunk text, but I buzz texted, trashed texted, and even worse, I texted the wrong person. Good times.

Within a 25 minute period, LGOP, had water dripping from her chin, cheese stuck on her cheek, and poppy seeds stuck in her teeth. I kinda wish The Bridge didn't tell her about any of them, she prob would have walked around like that all day...what a mess.

Two hot surfer girls at the beach did ask me, of all people, to watch their stuff while they got food. I was pretty close to going over and chatting it up with them when they got back, but they decided to cuddle with each other instead. Yea, I didn't see that coming at all.

Nobody really took pictures until Sunday night, and that was Steven grabbing The Bridge's camera and taking 24 pictures in 5 minutes. It was as if no one was in any rush to document the weekend...just incase.

Tom became almost beligerently competitive during card games. He claimed he was psychic during golf. He dominated Asshole. He broke some fingers during ERS, and was just a horrible Rummy 500 player. That didn't stop him from talking trash, lotsa trash.

Not Enough Random Things I heard:
"I want to get pregnant but I don't want to be a fat person" - Randomly on the beach

"And that is how I almost got arrested last night" - Random 16 year old guy - I wish I hadn't missed the beginning of the story

"Are you more like the Jake Gyllenhaal or Heath Ledger of the story?"

"How much would you cost to suck dick" - Come on, inappropriate

"This Coke is so..o...o good." LGOP - Dude, its a coke...

"There are so...o...o many above ground pools in this area its ridiculous" Dude, its just a pool. It might be time to slow the use of the so...o...o's and ridiculouses.

New Games:
Ipod Ass Slapping Game: If the song playing at the bar is on your Ipod, slap an ass. Beware, some people have elaborate playlists and are not afraid to use them.

Egyptian Rat Screw Drinking Game: If you lose a slap in, you gotta drink.

Rummy 500 Drinking Game: Still in its developmental stages, but I'll come up w/it by the end of the week.

Girls Don't Pay for Drinks at the Bar, Game: Yea, I don't remember deciding to play this game, but the 3 nights somehow warped into it. I don't mind it, actually, ask my girls, I always play, but I sensed some private rumblings, and thus this game's rules might need to be altered (slightly).

Ten Things I Think I Think About the Shore:
I think our house is so much nicer than I thought it was going to be. I think I was expecting a frat house looking apt, and we got a summer cottage-ish thing. I think OCD hooked us up, bigtime.

I think the people in our house are really awesome. Obv I knew 4 of them beforehand, but from what I can tell, I think the others are mature, independent, responsible chill and fun. Its nice when people can be alone, or together, and everyone can do their own thing, or hang as a group, and nobody has to be babied. I still don't think I understand bad roommate stories, its really not that hard to be cordial, and respectful.

I think I need to keep better track of the things we either randomly heard or said, so that we can post them on the fridge. I think some were just absurd, yet surprisingly unmemorable (prob shouldn't be drinking so much.

I think I'm happy that we're closer to the bars, and farther from the beach...than the other way around.

I think gimic drinks are always a rip off. When the bar tender sells them to you for $7, even though they are $9, I think that pretty much confirms it.

I think my problem solving skills continue to amaze me, I know Shorebabe, I love myself blah, blah, blah.

I think I searched twice for good bagel places and have come up empty handed, esp within walking distance. I think we might have to resort to frozen bagels.

I think the guys just dominated late night asshole, but I think I was dominated 5 of 6 times during daytime asshole.

I think my roommate might have had the best time of all of us, and he missed 30 of the hours. I think he was able to hit the beach, see some girls kissing, see some nakedness, have a girl climb into bed with him that wasn't his girlfriend, and still wake up alone that morning. Does it get better? :).

I think I like calling people from the beach, and I think I like it even more when they called back.

Video of a Girl Who'd Crush Those English Guy's Spirits

Final Thoughts:
The best part of this weekend was the sense that I was on vacation. It didn't feel like a normal weekend, it felt like I was going on vacation, and I'll be going on vacation again in 4 days. Additionally, I've miraculously lost that feeling I used to get that I'm missing out on something by not being at home. The kind of feeling you'd get when you go away for the summer, or for a semester, or even a volleyball tournament the weekend after midterms. Strangely, that anxious feeling was gone, and I was able to fully relax into my surroundings.



Anonymous said...

I'm SO sad I missed it!!!

OCD :)

Anonymous said...

What's the skillet???

Wow, that girl is insane. Those English guys wouldn't know what to

I still think my camping out in the middle of their circle or dave
tackling the guy holding the ball would be the funniest thing ever.