Sunday, July 30, 2006

Thinking About My Life

I think I'm not handling stress as well as I used to, or even as well as I did last year. Tests were one thing, but I think I'm anxious about my job, and girls, and inspiration, and numerous other things and I think its making me angry, and bitter, and curt, and petulant, and unfriendly. Thus, I think I'm not being very nice to some people because of it.

I think its about that time in my life when I grow up, make tougher decisions, and act like a man. Not that I haven't been making my own decisions for a very long time, but I think I've made some silly, stupid, immature decisions recently and I think it's time to act like that noble person I aspire to be.

I think I'm starting to understand how important family really is, and I think as much time as you all think I spend with them, I think I like them in my life.

I finished The Kite Runner today and I think I have so much in common with the main character's personality. Most of you could figure that out from previous writing on being scared, on being chivalrous, and on being brave, but I think the book inspired me.

I think I've been battling with the purpose and point of my life.

I think every day I feel more lucky to be the person I am, with the opportunity I have, and the family I have and yet, somehow, that makes everyday harder. I think I owe.

I think I don't deserve, I think I don't have the ambition to make a difference, and I think a better person would do more with what I have been given.

I think I desire "to fight for the right without question or pause, to be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause", but I don't think I have the guts. I think about those who did have the guts, and sacrificed for me, and are still willing to do the same all over again. I'm not sure this translates to paper well, and I'm writing it for myself, but I think I'm wasting those sacrifices, or I worry I will waste them. I think this is why I've been searching for inspiration for so long, and I think this is why I chase those that inspire me, sometimes too hard.

I think about Israel, and the US, and if I really belong here, or there, or anywhere, and I think about if I'd be willing to fight for this country's survival, and that country's survival. I think I want to say I'd do both, but I think I might not be willing to do either.

I think my g-dless mindset might be part of the reason for the above. I think that those who truly believe are luckier than I, and I envy them. I think I wish I could enjoy the comfort that the strong belief gives them and I think I'd be a bolder person, but maybe a weaker person if I did believe. I think that because I am ambivalent on the subject, I can only hope for a higher power, and fear that there isn't one, and I think that fear could make me a less honorable person than I aspire to be.

I think its still unclear to me what makes a good life, a happy life, a fulfilling life. I think money helps, so I'm working on phase 2 (accumulation of wealth) but I'm not sure the phases are relevant, especially if I'm not even confident of the purpose or point.

I think it may take some work to not regret the last month of my life for the rest of my life.

I think writing helps calm me.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Flag Thoughts

I've been having a debate with friends and family for the last few months now on the US colors and US flag. Ever since the US soccer team took the field against the Czeck Republic wearing dark dark blue jerseys, I've been thinking about our colors. This debate has centered around what color blue the US actually is.

As you can see from the picture above, our US soccer jerseys were definitely too dark, and definitely did not represent our country's colors. To address the issue, and why we were wearing such a dark blue, I went to some government websites for research purposes.

The CIA website had this up - a royal blue flag.

The US Flag website had this up, a navy blue flag.

Neither described the actual color blue of the flag, just that we are Red, White and Blue. After observing numerous sporting events, uniforms and patriotic displays, it has become apparent to me that there is a general ambiguity in the public realm as to which color the US flag is, and what colors our country is; Royal Blue or Navy Blue.

The Swiss Miss was set on the navy blue when asked, but I'd seen too much royal. When we went to a bar down the shore July 4th weekend, they gave out top hats.

Clearly, royal blue top hats.

Then, I went to Colorado last week, a RED state, during the 4th of July, and saw plenty of Red, White, and all sorts of Blues. We stopped at the US Air Force academy, which was set on navy. Everything was navy blue, except one picture of a coffin, which was draped in a royal blue flag.

We stopped at the US Olympic Training facility, in down town Colorado Springs, surely they'd know what color our flag was. I went right to the information booth, where the lady at the desk confidently told me the flag was navy blue. I asked about the uniforms and she was sure they were always navy. Then I asked her about the light blue flag patch on the arm of her shirt, and she went speechless. (Actually, she said sometimes its cheaper to not use navy...WHATEVER). Here's what the USOC taught me. NOTHING.

Obviously, the 2 uniforms I found in a display case were 2 different colors, and both produced by a Canadian clothing company. You all know how I feel about that one.

Even the gift shop had both colors.

Anyway, after 10-15 pages of notes and pictures, this is what I've concluded:
The flag is currently red, white and navy blue.
The flag used to have a lighter blue in it.
Before that, the original flags were navy blue.
Uniforms are not even close, they are dead wrong, way too dark usually.
The USOC has no idea what color our flag is and maybe its because our uniforms are Canadian made.
The US Air Force is consistent with the navy blue.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Denver Pics

Denver Pictures

For explanations...just ask. Hopefully I'll have the video or partial video of my speech soon.

Oh, so Dan missed the wedding b/c Aaron Thomas Marx was being born. CUTE KID!!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


I know I'll have no time to post anything until Friday, so I'm going to do my best and maybe I'll add more later. Pictures, other stories, will just have to wait.

Traveling with the rents was not as bad as it could have been, thanks to that great invention called the Ipod. Makes it very easy to tune out any abnormal, annoying, irritating, prying, conversation.

I'm really starting to enjoy when my mom or dad try to teach me something new, like "If you want your room cleaned, you can call housekeeping and they'll send someone right away." Thanks mom, I didn't know that. I now enjoy that kind of comment because it gives me the clear opportunity to explain to the rents that I am no longer 7 years old anymore and that kind of comment/suggestion/lesson, is no longer appropriate for a 26 1/2 year old.

My parents have such a strong need to help me with my life's decisions, that when they decided to get me a hotel room for the last night of my trip so that I wouldn't have to activate the "crash network," I decided to give in. If they want to buy me a new camera or new golf clubs, I guess I'll give in to that too.

The word "dangerous" has many meanings, but this weekend, I learned a few more:
Dangerous - (also interchangeable with "trouble")
- The brides parents description of me to their daughter after hearing about the "dating matrix" I created.
- Having to many drinks before giving a speech. (I didn't)
- A 30 minute bus ride when you are drunk and dizzy. (luckily the plastic bag in my hand stayed empty)
- Making 3 phone calls (though I only remember 1) and sending 5 text messages when, well, actually, I don't remember when it was or where I was at the time.
- A drunk sister of the bride that wakes you up in your hotel room at 1am the night after the wedding to go in the hot tub (I didn't go)

Ten Things I Think I Think:
I think I've been to Colorado 6x in the last 3 years but this was the first time I did any touristy stuff. I think next time I'm def hitting the slopes.

I think that Tali and Josh have great chemistry, and I think I really like the idea of writing my own vows.

I think my steak dinner, Sunday night at 8pm, was my first meal of the day.

I think when all the bridesmaids and all the groomsmen know the name of the bartender at the wedding, then its a good wedding.

I think I wish I had a date there, but I think it would have been slightly awkward and selfish.

I think I feel bad for the maid of honor, she was dominated.

I think I'm the king of the aforementioned, "Crash Network." I think I know someone in most major cities that I'm close enough to so they would house me or my friends if we ever traveled to that city and needed to crash. Obviously, the "Crash Network" goes both ways so if you or your friends ever come to NY and need a place, give me a call.

I think I can't wait until July 26th.

I think I need to go to Chicago and visit people there soon.

I think this is what I said at the wedding, though I think I may have changed some of the words:

Josh is my best friend, I’ve known him forever.
There aren’t many things, We have not done together.

Our parents met 33 years ago, and since then have been tight.
And so yadda yadda yadda, Here we are tonight.

You’re all likely thinking, I yadda yaddaed the best part,
But we know for this couple, Tonight is only the start.

Tali, you’re lucky to have him, WE know how he rates,
But let me tell the rest about, Some of his positive traits.

Josh can answer most riddles, Can decipher games of the mind.
He solved the 3 lightbulbs, 2 pills and 5 pirates in a bind.

Josh is so good at scrabble, I won’t even play.
He’ll claim he’s the best in New Jersey, Till his dying day.

But Josh knows life is tough, Full of struggles and strife.
So here’s a story describing, How he enjoys the LUXURIES in life.

Josh came by my house, while my family was away.
Just so he could rest, in the hot tub all day.

As the hot tub using record holder, by my parents accord.
Josh claims its the best back therapy, ZERO money can afford.

When I’d beat him at sports, Josh would control his rage.
Since josh was always, very MATURE for his age.

During school I’d hardly see him, yet when he’d come over to play
We’d sit in the kitchen for hours, and talk to my parents all day?

This guy’s a hopeless romantic, so when Tali was away.
He’d mail her calling cards, so that they could talk everyday.

I assume he writes love poems, not that he’d share.
Just to tell his love Tali, how much he does care.

On the other hand Natalia, WE know Josh is no Saint.
THIS is why J is lucky, To have found his soul mate.

Josh likes placing WAGERS, On the most OBSCURE things.
You can’t call it gambling, since he NEVER wins.

Like that time when he bet me, that JERRY would be drafted.
YOU still owe me TEN dollars, from when Jerry got shafted.

Josh aspires to broadcasting, a master of the spoke word.
But he may be the worst RAPPER, that I’ve ever heard.

His song sits on my Ipod, but it won’t go far.
The words are too vulgar, You’re just not a rap star.

Josh is crazy about the Yankees, they go straight to his heart.
TALI, I hope that you realize, it’s Death till THEY part.

You see Tali loves Boston, so cages will rattle,
But arguing sports with Josh, is surely a losing battle.

Josh’s SNORING is deafening, you just can’t escape it.
It WOKE my whole house once, we decided to tape it.

So I thank you Natalia, for dealing with his stuff.
Living with Josh, has got to be rough.

Now they both love Dave Matthews, Hense the music selection.
If they met Dave in Person, He’d need 10 bodyguards for protection.

Here in Denver, they have built a beautiful home.
With a quaint little backyard, for their dogs to roam

They love Powell and Briscoe and Pizza and Sun,
But all they need is eachother, for a life full of fun.

Josh you’ve been like my brother, since the day you were born.
That bond will never change, though to Natalia you’re sworn.

So this wedding makes Tali, my new sister in law.
That NEW relation to ME, is her only flaw.

I’d like to thank Larry and Judy, and thank Gerry and Celeste,
For setting up this weekend (I said wedding), you guys are the best.

This marriage is SPECIAL, so I ask you to raise a glass
I’m terrible at Spanish, but this, from MY Family, I pass.

Yo quiero que ustedes tenemos mucho salud, y much amor, y much dinero y el tiempo para gustarlo.

I would like you to have, much happiness, and much love, and much money, and the time with which to enjoy them.

Casual Sex Day

Monday, July 03, 2006


Some things I need...

I need to buy a shirt that says "I know i got a lot of sun this weekend."

I need to refocus my priorities in order to avoid sabotaging my life.

I need a new camera.

I need to thank my shorebabe again for my new office plant.

I need to sleep more.

I need to go to Denver for the week...hopefully I'll be back w/some funny thoughts.