Tuesday, July 11, 2006


I know I'll have no time to post anything until Friday, so I'm going to do my best and maybe I'll add more later. Pictures, other stories, will just have to wait.

Traveling with the rents was not as bad as it could have been, thanks to that great invention called the Ipod. Makes it very easy to tune out any abnormal, annoying, irritating, prying, conversation.

I'm really starting to enjoy when my mom or dad try to teach me something new, like "If you want your room cleaned, you can call housekeeping and they'll send someone right away." Thanks mom, I didn't know that. I now enjoy that kind of comment because it gives me the clear opportunity to explain to the rents that I am no longer 7 years old anymore and that kind of comment/suggestion/lesson, is no longer appropriate for a 26 1/2 year old.

My parents have such a strong need to help me with my life's decisions, that when they decided to get me a hotel room for the last night of my trip so that I wouldn't have to activate the "crash network," I decided to give in. If they want to buy me a new camera or new golf clubs, I guess I'll give in to that too.

The word "dangerous" has many meanings, but this weekend, I learned a few more:
Dangerous - (also interchangeable with "trouble")
- The brides parents description of me to their daughter after hearing about the "dating matrix" I created.
- Having to many drinks before giving a speech. (I didn't)
- A 30 minute bus ride when you are drunk and dizzy. (luckily the plastic bag in my hand stayed empty)
- Making 3 phone calls (though I only remember 1) and sending 5 text messages when, well, actually, I don't remember when it was or where I was at the time.
- A drunk sister of the bride that wakes you up in your hotel room at 1am the night after the wedding to go in the hot tub (I didn't go)

Ten Things I Think I Think:
I think I've been to Colorado 6x in the last 3 years but this was the first time I did any touristy stuff. I think next time I'm def hitting the slopes.

I think that Tali and Josh have great chemistry, and I think I really like the idea of writing my own vows.

I think my steak dinner, Sunday night at 8pm, was my first meal of the day.

I think when all the bridesmaids and all the groomsmen know the name of the bartender at the wedding, then its a good wedding.

I think I wish I had a date there, but I think it would have been slightly awkward and selfish.

I think I feel bad for the maid of honor, she was dominated.

I think I'm the king of the aforementioned, "Crash Network." I think I know someone in most major cities that I'm close enough to so they would house me or my friends if we ever traveled to that city and needed to crash. Obviously, the "Crash Network" goes both ways so if you or your friends ever come to NY and need a place, give me a call.

I think I can't wait until July 26th.

I think I need to go to Chicago and visit people there soon.

I think this is what I said at the wedding, though I think I may have changed some of the words:

Josh is my best friend, I’ve known him forever.
There aren’t many things, We have not done together.

Our parents met 33 years ago, and since then have been tight.
And so yadda yadda yadda, Here we are tonight.

You’re all likely thinking, I yadda yaddaed the best part,
But we know for this couple, Tonight is only the start.

Tali, you’re lucky to have him, WE know how he rates,
But let me tell the rest about, Some of his positive traits.

Josh can answer most riddles, Can decipher games of the mind.
He solved the 3 lightbulbs, 2 pills and 5 pirates in a bind.

Josh is so good at scrabble, I won’t even play.
He’ll claim he’s the best in New Jersey, Till his dying day.

But Josh knows life is tough, Full of struggles and strife.
So here’s a story describing, How he enjoys the LUXURIES in life.

Josh came by my house, while my family was away.
Just so he could rest, in the hot tub all day.

As the hot tub using record holder, by my parents accord.
Josh claims its the best back therapy, ZERO money can afford.

When I’d beat him at sports, Josh would control his rage.
Since josh was always, very MATURE for his age.

During school I’d hardly see him, yet when he’d come over to play
We’d sit in the kitchen for hours, and talk to my parents all day?

This guy’s a hopeless romantic, so when Tali was away.
He’d mail her calling cards, so that they could talk everyday.

I assume he writes love poems, not that he’d share.
Just to tell his love Tali, how much he does care.

On the other hand Natalia, WE know Josh is no Saint.
THIS is why J is lucky, To have found his soul mate.

Josh likes placing WAGERS, On the most OBSCURE things.
You can’t call it gambling, since he NEVER wins.

Like that time when he bet me, that JERRY would be drafted.
YOU still owe me TEN dollars, from when Jerry got shafted.

Josh aspires to broadcasting, a master of the spoke word.
But he may be the worst RAPPER, that I’ve ever heard.

His song sits on my Ipod, but it won’t go far.
The words are too vulgar, You’re just not a rap star.

Josh is crazy about the Yankees, they go straight to his heart.
TALI, I hope that you realize, it’s Death till THEY part.

You see Tali loves Boston, so cages will rattle,
But arguing sports with Josh, is surely a losing battle.

Josh’s SNORING is deafening, you just can’t escape it.
It WOKE my whole house once, we decided to tape it.

So I thank you Natalia, for dealing with his stuff.
Living with Josh, has got to be rough.

Now they both love Dave Matthews, Hense the music selection.
If they met Dave in Person, He’d need 10 bodyguards for protection.

Here in Denver, they have built a beautiful home.
With a quaint little backyard, for their dogs to roam

They love Powell and Briscoe and Pizza and Sun,
But all they need is eachother, for a life full of fun.

Josh you’ve been like my brother, since the day you were born.
That bond will never change, though to Natalia you’re sworn.

So this wedding makes Tali, my new sister in law.
That NEW relation to ME, is her only flaw.

I’d like to thank Larry and Judy, and thank Gerry and Celeste,
For setting up this weekend (I said wedding), you guys are the best.

This marriage is SPECIAL, so I ask you to raise a glass
I’m terrible at Spanish, but this, from MY Family, I pass.

Yo quiero que ustedes tenemos mucho salud, y much amor, y much dinero y el tiempo para gustarlo.

I would like you to have, much happiness, and much love, and much money, and the time with which to enjoy them.

Casual Sex Day

No comments: