Thursday, August 24, 2006

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

Book Report - I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell - Tucker Max

I flew through this book in 6 days while crying from hysterically laughing through each of the short stories inside. Tucker Max writes little stories about his life as a drunk, puking, womanizing smart ass and it's truly entertaining. I'm not sure if the stories are true, or elaborated, because he is so witty with his insulting of rednecks or how to get the fat girl he just slept with to get out of his apartment before his roommates see her that they must have been embellished when writing. That doesn't take away from the simple situations he gets himself into that, when you picture them in your head, are cry on the subway, at the beach, while walking, and on the roof, funny.

As always, since I'm a terrible writer, and most of these people are not, here are some plagiarized quotes from the book:

When describing his friend -

"You know that saying, "Any club that would let me be a member, I wouldn't want to join?" SlingBlade assumed that any girl that he liked enough to want to fuck, wouldn't want to fuck him. But any girl who did want to fu ck him without first knowing him and respecting him, he automatically thought was a whore...and he refused to sleep with a girl he regarded as a whore. This absurd Catch-22 pretty much guaranteed that SlingBlade got no ass.

When he gets bored talking to stupid girls, kinda like yours truly, he tends to start lying in order to entertain himself -

"So what do you do in your free time?"
"Cut up Guatemalan hookers and bury them in shallow graves by the interstate"
"What was your family like?"
"My dad was so mean, he'd give my sisters and me ten dollars on Christmas Even, steal it back from us that night when we were sleeping, and then beat us on Christmas Day because we lost it.

Yes, this book is quite entertaining.
(FYI, in order to get a fat chick to leave your apt before your roommates find her, take her clothes, throw them out the window, and tell her that she can get them now, in the dark, or in the morning)

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