Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Thinking About Lists

I think I really like lists, and therefore, I'm going to write about a list of lists that I think about.

1) I think these are things that break too easily, that you lose too easily that you shouldn’t pay more than $5 for, especially in the city:
A) Socks
B) Gloves
C) Hats
D) Scarves
E) Umbrellas
F) Sunglasses
G) Lottery tickets.

2) I think Idiot Girl didn’t realize she was a little clutzy until I pointed it out to her and she started noticing things. For her sake, and the sake of argument, and the sake of Idiot Boy being always right (except when he says that he’s always right, then inevitably, he’s wrong about everything for the next few days), here are some Idiot Girl things that Idiot Girl said or did over the last few weeks:
A) I think Idiot girl lost her gloves.
B) I think Idiot girl lost her scarf.
C) I think Idiot girl spilled coffee over her coat, and her bag.
D) I think Idiot girl spilled dressing on her bag and all over the library.
E) I think Idiot girl said “My life would be so much better with out the constitution.”
F) I think I was walking right in front of Idiot Girl, and when I turned around, she was on her hands and knees in the snow on the sidewalk.
G) I think Idiot Girl lost a second pair of gloves.
H) I think Idiot Girl said she was scared to use her phone during volleyball b/c it might get hit. (Update, Idiot Girl was scared for her life if she looked away from the court at her phone)
I) I think Idiot Girl knows where her 2nd pair of gloves are, but does not want to get them, because the jacket is still covered in coffee.
J) I think Idiot Girl wears slippers, or ballet shoes, everywhere, even in the winter.
K) I think Idiot Girl stories are funnier when I just make them up (or not)

3) I think this is my laminated list:
A) Christina
B) Jaime Lynn
C) Natalie
D) Katie
E) Cameron.

4) I think here are some non listed items, organized in a list:
A) I think Jazz is elevator music. I think it should not be in the foreground and thus should only be played in the background.
B) I think I was in a bar and some guy walking by me touched me and his friend actually called him out like “why did you just touch that guy?" I think that was refreshing. Why do people touch so unnecessarily?
C) I think this website is great. I think you can send yourself emails in the future, or send other people emails in the future, to remind you of things. I’m not sure it works.
D) I think I’m going to try to get my company to develop a nap policy based on the research done by these wonderful scientists. (CLICK HERE)
E) Though I’ve entered “life purgatoryI was thinking about “Real” purgatory (you know, an unknown period of waiting, after you die, to go to either heaven or hell, as those still alive pray for your soul, so you may go to heaven quickly), and realized it isn’t that bad. I think, if you’ve got an eternity to spend in heaven, waiting a few thousand years to get in just isn’t that much time at all. Heck, if I knew heaven actually existed, I would probably find a way to end my life earlier, rather than later, in order to start the purgatory right away. I think the point of this whole thought process, is that if real purgatory isn’t that bad, because you know something good is going to happen after its over, then maybe mine won’t be so bad either, knowing I’ll come out at 33 ready to face the world.


Anonymous said...

fuck jazz! and don't touch people you don't know!

Anonymous said...

that was a pretty cheesy ending... kind of unusual for you, no?

Anonymous said...

"I think I was walking right in front of Idiot Girl, and when I turned around, she was on her hands and knees in the snow on the sidewalk"

thats why the guy is supposed to walk behind the girl, not in front

Anonymous said...

Couric or Holmes?

Meistro said...

Holmes - I made this list early in college, can't change it now.