Sunday, May 25, 2008

Idiot Boy's Back Again

Idiot Day

Idiot Boy was about to leave for work but couldn’t find his keys. He searched everywhere, and when frustrated, grabbed the spare keys and headed to work. Of course, his keys were in his jacket pocket, the same jacket he was wearing at the time. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy’s been doing the same commute for almost 2 years…and has never taken the 6 train to work in the 3.5 years he’s lived in the city. While walking west on 23rd street that same morning, Idiot Boy went into the Park Ave Subway. He looked around, realized something looked different than normal, and headed back up the steps toward 5th avenue where he’s been getting on the subway forever. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

After switching trains at 42nd street, Idiot Boy jumped on the 1 train to 66th street. The train fills with tons of students at 59th street, who all exit with him 1 stop later. Upon exiting, Idiot Boy wasn’t paying attention going through the turnstiles, and ended getting to close to the HS kid in front of him. They ended uncomfortably stuck for 2 seconds, before sharing the turnstile, an awkward glare, and moving on with their lives. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

That evening, Idiot Boy had a corporate outing at a Belgian Beer Bar (Valhalla). Belgian beer is strong, and on an empty stomach, can mess you up pretty good. Idiot Boy got a call, had to meet some friends for dinner, and ran out of there, leaving his briefcase behind. Now Idiot Boy’s coworker grabbed his bag and brought it to work, so all was not lost, but Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy’s asthma has been acting up for about 2 months, and he’s finally got it under control by taking meds twice a day. Idiot Boy keeps his meds in his briefcase so that he has them w/him at 8am and usually 8pm. Idiot Boy’s asthma treatment had a 3 day setback, after missing 2 doses. Idiot Boy felt like an Idiot.

That evening at dinner, Idiot Boy and friends were sitting at dinner, eating outside, when it started raining. We were mostly covered, but there we could no longer keep our wine bucket on the table next to us. Idiot Boy, being the problem solver, grabbed the ice bucket and put it next to his chair. The fatal flaw of this decision was that when his obsessive compulsive phone checking left hand dropped his new phone, it fell directly into the ice bucket. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy smartly grabbed his phone out of the ice bucket and took the battery out so it wouldn’t short circuit. Unfortunately, Idiot Boy had someone to meet that night, and was running late, and couldn’t call that person or let that person know. Idiot Boy, stuck in a cab in traffic, felt like an idiot. (Luckly Idiot Boy's phone is fine)

Sometimes, Idiot Boy is just way too nice. Idiot Boy has been trying to sell his couch online. A potential buyer said she would come pick it up after 5pm, so he made sure he was home from work by 5. At 5:30, she said her friends would be there at 6:30 to move the couch. At 7:15, Idiot Boy politely messaged saying that he was not going to wait more than 3 hours for her to arrive, and would be leaving for dinner at 8. No one ever came or messaged back. Idiot Boy is too nice to strangers, who he owes nothing to, but Idiot Boy felt like an Idiot for waiting.

Idiot Boy is in the process of moving to a new apartment. Idiot Boy’s super called him and asked if he could show IB's apartment to prospective renters while we were not there. Idiot Boy told the super that he trusted the super and thus it wouldn’t be a problem but would have to ask his roommate. Idiot Boy’s roommate absolutely refused on the basis that we don’t have to do anyone any favors, and don't want strangers in the apartment while not there. Idiot Boy believes we are trying to build a society, and being courteous, and trusting strangers should come along with that. Idiot Boy’s roommate works at a bank, has an “everyman for himself” mentality, and thus doesn’t believe in doing anyone any favors, especially our management company who we dislike. Idiot Boy hopes he will never think this way, and enjoys being nice and trusting. However, Idiot Boy realizes that being nice also means that you can be taken advantage of. This makes Idiot Boy proud sometimes, and feel like an idiot, other times.

Why We Are All A Bunch Of Idiots

Why aren't we doing more to fight POVERTY? In New York, we all see poverty every day. In the summer, when the homeless LEAVE THE SHELTERS for the SAFETY of the streets, we see poverty even more. I've given thousands of dollars to friends who were running or walking for Cancer/Leukemia/Suicide/AIDS/Israel/Darfur, etc, and have yet to have a friend do anything about poverty. As a society, our Government does plenty to fight poverty. However, our Government also does plenty to fight AIDS/Cancer Etc and yet we as yuppies support those causes but not the fight against poverty. This is likely because we know plenty of sick people, but don't know any poor people. The funny thing is this country was actually WINNING THE FIGHT against poverty in the 60's, under LBJ, before we started overspending on Vietnam and put it on the back burner. I believe that this fight starts and ends with education, which of course we as a society don't spend enough money on. We witness POVERTY everyday, right under our noses, and We Are All A Bunch Of Idiots (myself included) for ignoring it.

Monday, May 12, 2008

It's a Small World of Links

This city feels way too small sometimes. Saturday night I ran into my new friend Gillian at a club. I only met her the previous week during my walk, (Ania’s friend w/the doggie) and she actually invited me to a different party Saturday night that she didn’t even go to. Then randomly she’s at this club. Today I’m sitting on the train going uptown and George, a kid I see every week playing volleyball, sits next to me. He was on his way to work, back from NJ. Seems like every other day I run into someone.

Of course, my small city experiences are nothing compared to Square, who runs into one or two people every day on her way to or from work. I know, I’ve “commuted” w/her. I guess that’s what happens when you have 1,000 Facebook friends.

The funny thing about her 1,000 Facebook friends is that she was adding about 10 a week since I met her, but I told her when I met her that when she hit 1,000, we wouldn’t be friends anymore. Anyway, she’s been suck at 999 for almost a week now and I’m almost convinced that she’s cognizant of my threat and is deleting people just for me! (highly unlikely). Maybe I should tell her it was an empty threat.

I was set up w/a girl this week who went to HS w/my BIL, and who’s roommate danced w/my little sister. This city is too small, this world isn’t big enough J. I hung out with a new friend this week, who’s a friend of a friend and a friend of a different friend, who actually told me I may be too religious for her. I never, in my life, thought I would hear someone say that to me. But it’s a big city, and there are all types of people in it.

If the city was a little smaller, last night our car ride to NJ may have been a little nicer. About 30 minutes into our car ride to NJ, and about 5 minutes away from our destination. Atara puked all over herself. The smell of puke covered clothes for the whole ride home was a lovely touch.

No matter how many times as I read this post below, I don't feel better at all. I do realize how silly my feelings are, but they're still my feelings. I'm feeling a bit played, I hate waiting, and I have no clue what to do about it but fight my instincts, which are tactless. I usually just do what I want, when I want, and suffer the consequences. Now I'm actually restraining myself, so that someone doesn't restrain me, and its driving me nuts. Actually, its just frustrating. But of course, none of you have any idea what I'm actually talking about...and we're gonna keep it that way.

Here are some of the best links from the last few weeks:

THIS is my new building

I Miss High School, and the Really Stupid People in it.

Geekiness is directly tied to How Young You Play Dungeons and Dragons

This Guy is a Darwin Award Candidate

The Top 15 Celebrity Mullets of All Time

Regrow Body Parts with Pixie Dust (yea, its a serious science article)

Always a good for American Credibility when a Nobel Peace Prize Winner is on our Terrorist Watch List

Italy is Moving Back to Communism, or Something Screwy

Embarrassing from the Best Soccer Player in the World

Batman and the Dark Knight are Strikingly Similar (at least the trailers are)

You must have been a pretty boring caller if the 911 operator falls asleep on you

Play Hillary Vs Obama Fighting Game

Tips for Women

This is a Great Way to Take Care Of Your Really Old Parents

Is it Time to Stop Trying To Cure AIDS?

How to Scare Your Neighbors into Thinking there are Aliens

Video of the Week:

The Babysitter - Of Course You Know Why I Think this is Funny

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Thinking About Nothing

Last week I was still sick. I think I spent 2 evenings on my couch, at home, alone watching Netfilx and catching up on DVR. I think I was planning on a 3rd boring, depressing, night alone last week when I got a call on my way home to meet at the garden in 15 minutes for Chris Rock. That made my week. I think I even stopped coughing through most of it!

I think on Chris Rock’s Comedy Central special, he talks a lot about “The Tussin” (Robatussin), and coincidentally, I was taking lots of it for the week. Now my coughing is gone, no thanks to Advair!

I think I laughed on the subway when I saw a guy reading a book called “So you want to be like Christ? – 8 essentials to get you there.” I think it’s funny that the reader trusted that some author knows Christ so well. I think it's like reading the bible's cliff notes.

I think I’m jealous of my friend, The Bridge, who spent the better part of last week in New Orleans building houses. I think I’d like to take a 3 day trip down there or to somewhere and do some real charity work instead of just charitable giving.

I think I saw a really really strange movie last week at Tribecca Film Festival. I think it was called the “Wild man of the Navado” or something like that, and it was all about an urban legend of a half human half deer man killer. I think we saw Rosie, Jane Fonda, Padma (top chef), and the guy who played Jim Carey’s best friend in “The Truman Show.”

I think that one of the best ways to move up someone’s top friend list is to go to a birthday party they are throwing. I think if you are ranked in the top 50, but are one of 15 people to show up, you automatically move into the top 25, as they are pleasently surprised. I think you only need to stay for 20 minutes for this to have the proper effect.

I think I'm officially hooked to my blackberry and bbm. BBM or blackberry messenger is just another way to talk to someone w/o actually having a real conversation. I think other forms of this include: Email, IM, Gchat, Facebook, Texting, letter writing and Smoke Signals (though I'm not sure which of the last 2 are more outdated).

I think that when the interns start, our office will be much more fun to work in. I think when last summer’s interns start working full time, I’ll become more productive. I think I can’t wait 2 more weeks till they do.

I think I found something I like more than volleyball and bedroom activities. Hopefully I can tell you about it someday.

I think not wearing a seatbelt in a taxi is almost as stupid as taking one of those bicycle rickshaw rides down 5th avenue. I think my friend was in a small fender bender and had his mouth wired shut for 6 weeks because his jaw broke when his head hit the paneling in front of him. I think I’ll be wearing mine forever.

I think I’m really excited to move to a new apartment, and kind of embarrassed about how much I’ll be spending in rent on the new apartment. I think it’s really nice though, and I think it’ll really make me happy living there.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Saturday Saunter

This Saturday I'm doing a walk around the whole island of Manhattan (32 miles - About 500 people start every year and 100 or so finish. I'm not doing it for charity, I'm just doing it to say I did it b/c I think that will be something cool to say. However, my walking partner, Ania, is doing this walk for a charity she is highly involved with ( $10). I'm tagging along on this one, so if you have any questions about it, eamil her at

My most important solicitation in this email is for COMPANY! If you have any interest in walking, or joining us for part of this walk, message me or call me or just find me on the shore. This 12 HOUR WALK will give me time to do some THINKING, so expect a post on Sunday or Monday, considering I'll be spending those days recovering.

I'm also working on a pretty big Relationship Q&A, but its a little hard getting permission to post from everyone.

The schedule is below, I plan to be finished around 6pm. . . or in the top 10.

7:30 A.M. Start at the corner of Fulton & South Streets near the South Street Seaport.
9:45 A.M.Press Conference at Circle Line Terminal at W. 42nd St. & 12th Ave.
11:00 A.M.Riverbank State Park: By the bus stop in park near the northern end of the park (W. 145th St. & Hudson River).
1:00 P.M. Lunch in Inwood Park: near Flagpole.
4:00 P.M.Carl Schurz Park: East River Promenade near Flagpole at E. 86th St.
7:00 P.M. +Rendezvous and celebrate at the Heartland Brewery at Fulton and South Streets.