Sunday, May 25, 2008

Idiot Boy's Back Again

Idiot Day

Idiot Boy was about to leave for work but couldn’t find his keys. He searched everywhere, and when frustrated, grabbed the spare keys and headed to work. Of course, his keys were in his jacket pocket, the same jacket he was wearing at the time. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy’s been doing the same commute for almost 2 years…and has never taken the 6 train to work in the 3.5 years he’s lived in the city. While walking west on 23rd street that same morning, Idiot Boy went into the Park Ave Subway. He looked around, realized something looked different than normal, and headed back up the steps toward 5th avenue where he’s been getting on the subway forever. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

After switching trains at 42nd street, Idiot Boy jumped on the 1 train to 66th street. The train fills with tons of students at 59th street, who all exit with him 1 stop later. Upon exiting, Idiot Boy wasn’t paying attention going through the turnstiles, and ended getting to close to the HS kid in front of him. They ended uncomfortably stuck for 2 seconds, before sharing the turnstile, an awkward glare, and moving on with their lives. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

That evening, Idiot Boy had a corporate outing at a Belgian Beer Bar (Valhalla). Belgian beer is strong, and on an empty stomach, can mess you up pretty good. Idiot Boy got a call, had to meet some friends for dinner, and ran out of there, leaving his briefcase behind. Now Idiot Boy’s coworker grabbed his bag and brought it to work, so all was not lost, but Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy’s asthma has been acting up for about 2 months, and he’s finally got it under control by taking meds twice a day. Idiot Boy keeps his meds in his briefcase so that he has them w/him at 8am and usually 8pm. Idiot Boy’s asthma treatment had a 3 day setback, after missing 2 doses. Idiot Boy felt like an Idiot.

That evening at dinner, Idiot Boy and friends were sitting at dinner, eating outside, when it started raining. We were mostly covered, but there we could no longer keep our wine bucket on the table next to us. Idiot Boy, being the problem solver, grabbed the ice bucket and put it next to his chair. The fatal flaw of this decision was that when his obsessive compulsive phone checking left hand dropped his new phone, it fell directly into the ice bucket. Idiot Boy felt like an idiot.

Idiot Boy smartly grabbed his phone out of the ice bucket and took the battery out so it wouldn’t short circuit. Unfortunately, Idiot Boy had someone to meet that night, and was running late, and couldn’t call that person or let that person know. Idiot Boy, stuck in a cab in traffic, felt like an idiot. (Luckly Idiot Boy's phone is fine)

Sometimes, Idiot Boy is just way too nice. Idiot Boy has been trying to sell his couch online. A potential buyer said she would come pick it up after 5pm, so he made sure he was home from work by 5. At 5:30, she said her friends would be there at 6:30 to move the couch. At 7:15, Idiot Boy politely messaged saying that he was not going to wait more than 3 hours for her to arrive, and would be leaving for dinner at 8. No one ever came or messaged back. Idiot Boy is too nice to strangers, who he owes nothing to, but Idiot Boy felt like an Idiot for waiting.

Idiot Boy is in the process of moving to a new apartment. Idiot Boy’s super called him and asked if he could show IB's apartment to prospective renters while we were not there. Idiot Boy told the super that he trusted the super and thus it wouldn’t be a problem but would have to ask his roommate. Idiot Boy’s roommate absolutely refused on the basis that we don’t have to do anyone any favors, and don't want strangers in the apartment while not there. Idiot Boy believes we are trying to build a society, and being courteous, and trusting strangers should come along with that. Idiot Boy’s roommate works at a bank, has an “everyman for himself” mentality, and thus doesn’t believe in doing anyone any favors, especially our management company who we dislike. Idiot Boy hopes he will never think this way, and enjoys being nice and trusting. However, Idiot Boy realizes that being nice also means that you can be taken advantage of. This makes Idiot Boy proud sometimes, and feel like an idiot, other times.

Why We Are All A Bunch Of Idiots

Why aren't we doing more to fight POVERTY? In New York, we all see poverty every day. In the summer, when the homeless LEAVE THE SHELTERS for the SAFETY of the streets, we see poverty even more. I've given thousands of dollars to friends who were running or walking for Cancer/Leukemia/Suicide/AIDS/Israel/Darfur, etc, and have yet to have a friend do anything about poverty. As a society, our Government does plenty to fight poverty. However, our Government also does plenty to fight AIDS/Cancer Etc and yet we as yuppies support those causes but not the fight against poverty. This is likely because we know plenty of sick people, but don't know any poor people. The funny thing is this country was actually WINNING THE FIGHT against poverty in the 60's, under LBJ, before we started overspending on Vietnam and put it on the back burner. I believe that this fight starts and ends with education, which of course we as a society don't spend enough money on. We witness POVERTY everyday, right under our noses, and We Are All A Bunch Of Idiots (myself included) for ignoring it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Impressively awful day, IB

Anonymous said...

Idiot boy should check out takeareport.com... idiot boy will find inspiration in this blogging genius. He will also find many laughs.