Questions of the week:
What are you doing for the 4th of July? What did you do for the 4th? These two questions were the most common question asked to me during a 2 week period in the midpoint of my summer. Since when is the 4th a holiday you plan in advance for? Since when is the 4th a story worthy event which you need to ask everyone what they did? The 4th of July isn’t New Years Eve, and so I planned my 4th festivities on the 4th, that evening, and they weren’t anything remotely special.
Do you care if someone says they have a therapist? I was talking about therapy with a friend who put it in prospective. She said therapy was like online dating, there’s nothing wrong with other people doing it, as long as it’s not you. I guess therapy could be described as Seinfeldian “not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
Did you like the movie “Yea, no, it was ok.” Did you? Is it me, or is everyone saying “yea, no” all the time? It feels like the expression has become a conversational staple, in which people want to answer a question before they’ve fully comprehended it, thus answering ambiguously originally.
Have you ever referred to someone as a hugger? I know I haven’t. I do have a friend who’s a really bad cheek kisser. She kinda just does a cheek bump, making no noise and giving no real shot of either person’s lips hitting the others cheek. I kinda enjoy it each time it happens, b/c I assume its somewhat painful for her.
Why do you look like you just saw a ghost? The volleyball scene in top gun is by far the most unbelievable scene I’ve ever seen in any movie. Being a volleyball player, I’m repulsed watching Tom Cruise (5’5?) and Anthony Edwards (super uncoordinated dork) actually beat Val Kilmer and some other jacked guy in match. Second on my list of inconceivable movie plot lines is the guy from knocked up getting Katherine Heigl, even if for 1 night.
What the hell are you wearing? I love that I can wear anything in my new neighborhood and not even come close to standing out. I could walk out in just my boxer briefs, with a visor and ski boots, and people would probably be looking at the guy across the street in the boa w/the much better body.
Why do you look heavier this month? Max Brenner is evil, and dominating my new life. He tempts me almost every week, and I give in almost every other week.
Have you found a new chicken parm place yet? It seems as though J’s has won the Ironbound Chicken Parm Taste test. I tried about 6 places, and they were the clear winner w/quality of chicken and sauce. J’s can expect $10 of weekly revenue from me.
How old are you? I was at a friend’s birthday party last weekend and the girl sitting across from me told me, “If I were 10 years younger…” That 40 year old could have been 29. . .
Don’t you live with him? Do you guys not talk? No, we don’t talk. If we talked, then we’d be friends. If we were friends, then we would fight often. If we fought, we couldn’t live together for 5 years. Thus, we don’t talk.