Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Guest Essay #1

Ode to the Mullet
by Sandy Eggo

Wait no more, the controversial redneck, countryboy/cityboy haircut has been making a silent comeback. It just hasn't made the obvious surfacing it did in the 80's and 90's because of the variations. The "Business in front, Party in back" mullet haircut has variations through the years, from David Bowie, Billy Ray Cyrus to the Beastie Boys. Billy Ray was the country western singin' mullet god, he made it famous, along with his 'Achey breaky heart'.

Now, Florence Henderson is the only female who comes immediately to mind, that had a mullet, (you know, the Mom from the Brady Bunch). I'm not sure if that makes her business in front, and party in back though, if you know what I mean.

Recently, the Mullet has adopted many variations of its original buffont in the front, lucious locks in the back.

The Skullet - shaved head or bald on top and long sides and back
The Frullet - shaved back and sides and a long piece that hangs in your face like the young hip-hop kids
The Mo-Hullet, or Mulhawk - A Mohawk with a long back piece
The Fullet or Grullet - The female version

Now a days, Mulletists (mullet enthusiasts) have been known to tease, wax, spike, and multi-color the business part, to give it originality and punk it out. BUT, there are still some diehard mulletists that have the same mullet cut they had in the 80's and 90's because they don't know how to grow it out to something different, or they refuse to whack their beloved ponytail. The mullet's origin is mainly blue collar and redneck, created in order to allow a Mulletist to go to work and have the longer ponytail down the shirt, if dress code prohibited it. Then come the weekend, you were a good ole' boy party animal. The mulletists population has been cenetered around country westerns, heavy metal rockers, ice hockey players and of course, wrestlers. The good news for Mulletists is that now, more than ever, it is more acceptable to be non-acceptable. You can sport a mullet with hair down to your butt, as long as you are a hard worker, and able to keep it from getting caught in the meat grinder at work.

One Question to all the Mullet sporting men and women out there, when they say you are Mullet Headed, are they referring to the haircut, or stupidity like the fish? Perhaps Both?

If you dont have the ability to grow one, pehaps you can just settle on dating someone with one, a Mullet that is. You'll find lots of mullets as well as other kinds of haircuts at RedneckandSingle.com, an online community of over 18,000 single rednecks seeking romance, friendship, adventure, hunting, camping and fishing partners, and NASCAR buddies. Visit http://www.redneckandsingle.com and find your own Mulletist.

I promise you wont regret it.

(The only thing worse than mullets, are leggings. That style has GOT TO END)

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