Sunday, December 21, 2008

Did You Really Just Say That?

Sandy: If he is online for 30 min and doesn’t say hi and then goes idle, do you think he could be cheating?
Me: Are you f-ing nuts?
Sandy: yea
Sandy: Are you really asking? Haha
Sandy: It just seems weird that he’d sign on and not say hi… even if I did see him this morning.
Sandy: Doesn’t it seem weird?
Me: No.
Me: Why do you think he is cheating? There has to be more than that.... Why would he sign on at all If he was?
Sandy: I think he is cause im insane. Cause when i told him lately that I had been freaking out cause im worried he's going out hooking up etc...he gave me this whole speach being like, I have no interest in cheating, i get why you would worry cause of our past, but i just want to be with you..etc et c but this past week we barely saw each other, where the week before we saw each other every day so i guess i got a bit worried..
Me: Bec you went nuts on him! This is a never ending cycle.
Me: You are never going to be happy and confident w him... enough that he can live a normal life w o having to check in w you and justfty himself to you. You've needed a new boy for 3 years now!
Sandy: I dont know if its him or anyone.
Sandy: It's me, I'm nuts :)

Rock Climbing Girl: I’d like to inform your thought, that if you are ready to have children with me tomorrow I’m willing to break up w/my boyfriend in order to satisfy my mother’s need to become a grandmother. Just don’t tell him :)
Me: Is that because he is unwilling or because I’m hotter and you will tell him it’s his?
Rock Climbing Girl: He is very unwilling and you’re very hot! :) But fathering my children is a whole new level of commitment that you’d have to fall in love with me at some point. I hear it helps the co-parent relationship and I’m very loveable.
Me: I find that being forced into love is the best way
Rock Climbing Girl: you’d have to meet my parents of course, first.
Me: Before the birth or before the sex?
Rock Climbing Girl: Before the sex, but you’re a Jewish boy, I’m pretty sure you’re in.
Me: Parents love me.
Rock Climbing Girl: Is having my hypothetical babies not enough for you? I guess I’ll see you at my bday on Saturday. Meanwhile I’m still considering your sperm.

Rachel: Why doesn’t Daniella accept my friend requests?
Me: She has like 80 people waiting, I’ll yell at her.
Rachel: Dude, my mom is all about Facebook, its hilarious. It’s funny, she has so much fun.
Me: That’s scary.

Hurricane: I can’t wait to meet the girl you end up with
Me: My mom says that to me sometimes… I’m STILL not sure if I’m supposed to be insulted or not.

SS: Ugh having roommate problem
Me: Move
SS: One brings random trashy guys home from bars and other doesn't approve. I don't care that much but she doesn't want strange men in our apt... Which is legit.
Me: So what? You have to make a rule? Why is that legit? It's her apt...
SS: I don't know it’s tough and I'm stuck in the middle
Me: I can't imagine my roommate saying I need to stop bringing random girls home... it’s not like the girls are going to rob us. Are you worried about your safety?
SS: Yes
SS: She brings home low class guys
SS: Like a 37 year old divorced w 4 kids
Me: If you don't like the lifestyle she lives then move out or make her move eventually, but she isn't doing anything wrong in my eyes besides being a slut
Me: Hmmm
Me: She hot?
SS: She's a blonde bombshell

Hurricane: You would be upset if you heard what I did. So, after dinner, he wanted to go for drinks...
Hurricane: okay, so I went...: it was fine... but he wanted to have another drink......and I was like, hmm
Hurricane: I lied and said I couldn't have another drink. I told him I was exhausted. I mean, it was 12:30 and the date started at 9.
Me: How much did you drink at dinner?
Hurricane: We just shared a bottle of wine, but I drank a little before, not much.
Hurricane: I’m really a nice person BUT, dinner was FINE, I mean, I could talk to a wall ...and I enjoy it, but he was nervous.
Hurricane: He was like, "I thought you were going to be crazy”
Hurricane: I was like "WHY?"
Hurricane: He said, "You just talked to me on the phone like we had been friends for years! "
Hurricane: I was like, “did you want me to sound nervous and make it super awkward?”
Hurricane: Geeze, help me out here
Me: where are you going w/this story?
Hurricane: So I slipped and told him I had a birthday party, but I also said I wasn't sure I was going to go, I was exhausted blah blah
Hurricane: So he says, "want to grab a drink after at one of my favorite beer bars"
Hurricane: now, thank g-d I'm NOT a light weight, so I go to this bar
Me: if you were a'd be done after the bottle!
Hurricane: we have a drink, really cute date place, I gave him serious props
Hurricane: so we're sitting at drink at the bar and he's like, "so where is the party? do you want to have another drink?"
Hurricane: at this point, I just said " I am exhausted, I think I am going head home after this, it was great but I’m fading!"
Me: I still don’t' know why I would be mad at you...
Hurricane: You would have called me out on my shit
Hurricane : So he gets me a cab, and tells the driver upper west side. Super nice, seriously.
Hurricane: I tell the driver, when you get to the light, we are going to turn and go to the meatpacking
Me: haha
Hurricane: the cab driver started laughing
Me: I'm laughing
Hurricane: Seriously, I was relieved. It was 12;30- we had been together for 3 and a half hours. That's fine, right?
Me: Long enough for a first blind date...gotta let it simmer... totally fine
Hurricane: and then I went to Brass Monkey and kicked it with the girls until 5!
Hurricane: so I got home at 5 and then woke up at 8 and went to the gym
Me: you didn't kiss him when you got in the cab?
Hurricane: No! I had no intention of kissing him
Hurricane: It wasn't really like that, and not to say I wouldn't.
Me: did he make second date plans w/you?
Hurricane: lol, no
Me: Amateur

Me: Sup?
LF: Supbleh
Me: Nice
(2 days later)
LF: Did u text me the other night?
Me: Yes
LF: what did u say?
Me: Sup?
Me: And you said "supbleh"
Me: And I said "nice"
LF: Sorry

Me: Why did you ditch me the other night? I thought we were going to meet up at 6?
North Carolina: I left the gym at 3:30 and was on my way home when I saw 2 girls from Gossip girl. I knew they lived in my area so I wanted to see where they lived. They went to a coffee shop so I went in too and sat for 45 minutes. I called some friends and we stood outside and smoked till they left. When they left we followed them some more and walked them to their apt, stopping at a few other shops for a min. When I got home it was 5:55, so I texted you and told you I couldn't make it. I love Gissip Girl! That's ok right?
Me: No rain check

Guy to his girlfriend as he's leaving the subway: Let's go you idiot
African American guy getting on the subway: Are you talking to me?
Guy turns flush white and says: No, no. Sorry, This is the idiot (pointing to his girlfriend).

Last Tuesday, someone who probably shouldn't have, found my website. This may be the SCARIEST thing of all. Stat Tracker from last week! (Click Picture for Larger Image)


Mom said...

'Rock climbing girl' is definitely flirting with you. From all the girls you know, pick one! No one is perfect. The day before I got married I said to myself, 'What if Prince Charming knocks on my door tomorrow. What am I going to do?" Well, there is no Prince Charming. Pick the best thing out there and go with it.

Mom, again said...

Complimenting or insulting? A backhanded compliment, respecting your right not to tell your mother everything.