Sunday, December 28, 2008

Jdate Makes Me Fat

This was sent to me by my friend. She told me the story and I made her write it down. I think its pretty freaking hilarious!

Jdate Makes Me Fat

I got on Jdate 3 months ago, I was this 5'4 petite, cute little girl. I had some cute pictures up and when you first sign up, you get bombarded by guys who are just searching for new people. I'm also 24, so everyone from 24-38 year old's are searching for me. Lets just say, I attacked the site, as it attacked me.

I used to go to the gym 3-4 times a week. Now I have no time.
I used to drink only on the weekends. Now I drink almost every night.
I used to make myself small dinners. Now I have big dinners every night.

Lets just say, my life has changed substantially in the last 3 months. I suppose if I'd met someone I ACTUALLY LIKED, I would have stopped dating so much, and could have moved back toward my normal routine. Obviously, THAT HAS NOT HAPPENED.

Here's my week last week:

Monday Night: I try not to schedule Monday dates. Usually, I'm exhausted from the weekends because I went out late Saturday, I woke up late Sunday, and couldn't fall asleep on Sunday night until late. On Monday's I'm running on 5 hours of sleep. Tonight, I had a drink w/some cute guy, told him he'd have to take me out again, and went home to get on Jdate and schedule the rest of my week. 2 cute guys talked to me, so I made plans w/them for Wed, and Sat.

Tuesday Night: Usually I'd hit the gym on Tuesday's, but I had a 3rd date w/a guy I kinda liked. We had dinner for 3 hours, he insisted on dessert, probably so he could also order after dinner drinks. We'd kicked a bottle of wine, and the extra drink and I ended up at his place until the morning. He asked me out for Friday.

Wednedsay Night: I was exhausted from the previous night, and was just meeting a guy for a first date, so we met for a drink after work. He lives downtown and works downtown so I gave in and traveled down there... he picked some swanky place that I'd wanted to go to, so I figured it was worth it. He was not nearly as good looking as his pictures, and I called him out on it. That FUCKER called me out too. Said I was a bit bigger than in my pictures!! He asked when I took the pictures and I told him 2 months ago. He asked what happened and I told him "JDATE! you asshole!" We laughed about it a little and I decided to run up his tab. Drinks at this place were like $15 and since it was a first date, no way he wasn't paying. Must have put $200 on there. I made out w/him afterwords at 2am b/c he was a good sport but I'm def not going out with him again.

Thursday: Normally, on Thursday morning, I hit the gym. After waking up 20 min late for work, hungover, and still possibly drunk, you could guess I didn't make it to the gym. Thursday night I had drinks scheduled with this guy I'd met on Saturday. We'd just gotten coffee on Sat, so I wanted him to take me out for a meal. I was tired, but he was nice. Dinner was at some pasta bar, really heavy food, really cheep. I'm thinking he has no money based on the 2 dates and prob won't go out w/him again. Wow I'm full. At least the pasta kicked the hangover. I got on Jdate for 2 more hours after I got home, made plans for Sunday brunch w/some Lawyer, and passed out.

Friday Night: Friday I met up w/Tuesday guy. It was a little strange because I'd stayed over but we didn't really do THAT much. I felt like he was testing me to see if I would this time, or I was done. Of course I was testing him to see if he actually liked me or just wanted to hook up b/c he'd put in the time. Conversation didn't flow as well and was actually kinda awkward, even after drinking a bottle of wine. We went out afterwords, some dive bar. We did some shots and drank some more. We both passed out w/o hooking up and in the morning he wanted to but I couldn't. He was pissed, but I had to run because...

Saturday: At noon I had a brunch date w/the 2nd guy I met Monday night on Jdate. Date went well but he was boring as hell. Love brunch. Had just eaten so couldn't go to the gym. Took a nap and went out w/friends Saturday Night. Some guy I'd met 2 months earlier messaged around 1am, so I met up w/him at 3am and brought him back to my place.

To summarize: I had drinks and dinners almost every night and missed all the times I normally go to the gym.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

why do the guys always pay for the dates? that's not right