Sunday, January 04, 2009

It's My Birthday? Oh No!

I was always under the impression that birthday's are for you... and everyone likes making your bday fun for you. This year proved that theory dead wrong. I'm pretty sure birthday's are for your friends. (similar to wedding's being for the bride, friends and the parents). Your friends want you to have parties, they want to cook for you, they want to hang out with you. As the birthday boy, I don't want to have a party, I don't want someone to cook for me, and I sure as hell don't want to hang out w/most of these people! :).

People are obsessed with birthday's....and not necessarily their own. I'm not. While I try to go to as many other people's bday parties as possible, I've never been one to plan an extravagant event for myself, at least not more than a week beforehand.

This year's birthday acknowledgements and happiness and revelry are somewhat unmatched in my history. Through Facebook, and Gchat, this website, and email in general, I've somehow created a very large web of people that I talk to regularly.

Over the last 10 days, I've gotten many messages asking these same questions:
A) "What are you doing for your birthday?"
B) "When can I take you for a drink?"
C) "Can I take you out for dinner?"
D) "Can I cook you dinner?"
E) "Can I bake for you?"

My answers have always been the same. "I don't know. I have a wedding on the logical party night, so I don't know."

Some people are just obsessed with birthdays. Bday week started Friday. I was out to dinner with GG and randomly mentioned how it was my birthday on Sunday. All of a sudden, there were requests from the restaurant for a cake, candle, and singing (which never commenced).

Friday at Midnight, I got my first Happy Birthday text, from a friend who obviously got the day wrong! Through Saturday, as time zone's passed... people started messaging happy wishes, once midnight hit on their continent.

Birthday's are supposed to be for you, but instead of relaxing on my birthday, a nice little Sunday of wildcard weekend, I'm stuck answering the phone, email, texts, all day long. There was no break in the action, no rest for the weary (I was recovering from an awesome wedding Saturday night). By the end of the day today, I'd received 7 normal emails, 9 facebook emails, 49 facebook wall postings, 12 text messages, 14 phone calls, 7 gchat messages, and 7 blackberry messenger texts. I responded to each one, with a real response. Let me tell you, this was no ordinary task. In fact, in attempting the 100% response rate (unthinkable), my phone battery lasted 3 hours less than normal, and I took my laptop to my parents apartment for brunch. Without that laptop, the feat would have been impossible.

My sister's love my birthday. It's another excuse for them to tell ME to "suggest to my parents that we should go to this new swanky kosher restaurant on Thursday night. Yes, its an excuse for them to eat good food for my birthday. I didn't tell them to become kosher, why do I have to be kosher on my Birthday!? (I should have asked for bacon at brunch this morning).

I was going to post a list of the people who've messaged, just so I could keep track...but it got to be a pain in the behind. Lets just say I'm somewhat overwhelmed.

I haven't done much "thinking" lately... so here are some thoughts from the last few weeks:

I think being a conductor on the Shuttle train has got to be the most boring job. Back and forth, back and forth. I think I would make up fun things to say in the announcements, fun facts about 42nd st and grand central. I think I'd be bored out of my mind and wonder if they give that route to specific conductors as punishment.

I think tuxedo goggles and suit goggles DO exist. This is similar to beer goggles in that, anyone who's wearing a suit or tuxedo are automatically better looking. I think another example of goggles are uniform goggles, which likely works for both boys and girls.

I think girls sometimes try so hard to convince themselves to like specific boys. My friend has been dating Mr. Wonderful for the last month before she went away on vacation for 13 days. I think she told me something like "I really wanted to miss him when I was away... but..." I think she'll stay with him for at least another month... with hope.

I think, collectively, new yorkers party harder on New Year's Eve than any other holiday. I think this means that on New Year's Day, at 9 am, New York is extremely quiet... the streets are empty.

I think I saw a Hanukkah caravan going up 6th avenue last week. There were curly haired boys with their heads out the window's of RV's and mini van's with 2 foot tall menorah's mounted on the tops of the cars. I think they were police escorted and spanned about 30 cars long. I thought I was dreaming for a second.

I think that I would dominate a satire protest. I went to an Israel rally last week, which was staged to take attention away from a much bigger "Support Hamas" rally across the street. I think I would have been much happier on a 3rd corner w/signs saying things like "If you penetrate us, we'll penetrate you" screaming things like "We've got spirit, yes we do..." I think I could have gotten a bigger crowd and won.

I think my latest excuse for not eating salads, etc was a pretty good one. I think I usually say things like "I don't think its right to kill defenseless plants" or "I'm a carnivore" or "I don't eat leaves and grass." I think this time I made fun of the absurdity of paying for leaves, which are readily available for anyone to eat at anytime. I think I said, "Why would you pay for a salad, there is a salad on almost every tree in the city, why don't you just go to the park if you want a salad? Trust me, if hamburgers grew on trees, I probably wouldn't pay for them in a restaurant."

Of course, I think its a sign of the times that when I was thirsty at my friend's apartment last week, I went right to the fridge for water. When did I stop going to the faucet and start going to the Britta, assuming that everyone has one? I think this totally contradicts my "hamburgers on trees" argument.

I think last week I didn't know what a trivet was.

I think commuting without a newspaper or book is a totally different experience. Try just watching people at least once a month. I think it'll surprise you what goes on when you're not watching.

1 comment:

The Authority said...

I think that you are lucky to have people who want to celebrate the day you were born. How will you feel when no one cares about your 30th?

And thanks for taking credit for my thoughts on tux/suit goggles.