Sunday, January 18, 2009

Top 11 Reasons Guys Pay (REWRITE)

Top 11 Reasons Guys Pay (REWRITE):

Everytime I told someone about THIS POST, they all responded... "Yes, that's true, but there's really only 1 reason." So, here's the rewritten addition:

Top 11 Reasons Guys Pay, When There's Really Only ONE Reason:

(in no particular order)

We Make More Money: This isn’t always true, and most of us wish it wasn’t true, but for me it usually is true. In the last year, I have not gone on a date with a girl who makes more money than me. I’m almost 100% certain. Many girls work much harder than I do, but their jobs just aren’t as financially rewarding. Why should they be punished by the arbitrariness of the system and/or the possible glass ceiling? Why do we want girls to think we make more money? So that they can feel secure with us, and see a future with us. When girls see a future with you, and see you as successful, they'll like you more...and they may even sleep with you.

We Actually Want To: This may be hard to believe, but chivalry isn’t totally dead. Some guys, especially myself, like the idea of treating a girl well, and if that means buying dinner/drinks, so be it. We’ve been raised to put girls on pedestals, why not treat them like queens? There are some girls who've never been treated this well, and love the idea of being treated like queens... these girls may even sleep with you.

We Have All Heard THE Story: We’re sitting at brunch and one of our female friends starts talking about this bad date she had. The story always ends with "it was so expensive and he made me pay for half, that jerk!" Those "jerks" definately didn't get to sleep with those guys... so the lesson from the girl's story is "if you don't pay, there is no way I'm going to sleep with you"

We Asked Her Out: If I ask a girl out, why shouldn’t I pay for her? Makes sense to me. If the girl asked to buy me a drink, I’d consider letting her, though I probably wouldn’t. I have yet to be asked out on a first date by someone I actually wanted to go out with. Did I ask her out because I knew her really well? Nope, prob b/c, at some point in the future, I want to sleep with her.

We Picked The Place: My friend Jessalyn said it best "I do think if the guy picks the place for the first date, he should be prepared to pay." What if it’s a really nice place, or to see a show for $100, how can we expect the girl to pay? We can’t. Why did I pick this fancy place that I know she can't afford and will pay for the whole thing? Because maybe she'll let me sleep with her.

Tradition: Tradition dictates that we pay. Who are we to change that tradition now, without agreeing to it prior to going out? I want her to know that I understand social order, and how the world works, because a girl who thinks you get it, may even sleep with you.

We Want to Avoid the Awkward: The tradition is set in stone, even if both people want to go dutch, it can be awkward getting to that point. She takes out her wallet, he says no thanks, she refuses. Awkward! If you can avoid being the awkward guy, and all awkward moments in general on a date, the girl might even sleep with you.

We Want Her to Like Us: If a girl insists on paying for herself, this is a signal that she doesn’t like you. The girl doesn’t want to owe you anything, and thus is paying. If she liked you, she wouldn’t mind being treated. If she doesn't mind being treated, and thus likes you, there's a good chance if you do it a few more times, she may even sleep with you.

We Like to Show Off: Self explanatory. If girls are impressed with you, they may even sleep with you.

We Want to Hook Up: This may be misguided, but most guys do assume that have a better shot at getting some action if we pay. Girls will say “I hate feeling like I owe the guy something” when he pays, but of course, she does feel that way…and sometimes, she’ll even give in. This is the only part of the list I didn't have to rewrite.

We Want to Eat Off the Girl’s Plate: The way I see it, if I know that I’m paying, and she knows that I’m paying, technically, she is eating my food. I’m allowing her to eat my food. Since that is the case, I can just reach over to her plate and take whatever I want. Eating off of the girl's plate will not get her to sleep with you. HOWEVER, if you invoke this clause as to why you are eating off of her plate, (bec you are paying and thus all the food is technically you) she may think you're funny, and witty, and smart. If she thinks those things, she may even sleep with you. (or she may walk out of you date)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of Chinese fortune cookie endings "in bed."

Anonymous said...

i'm thinking this post is a little bit chauvinistic. while i don't disagree with all of the reasons, i don't think whether or not a guy paying will lead me to sleep with him. it depends on what the girl is looking for too!

Meistro said...

This post isn't a little chauvinistic, its a lot chauvenistic... However the thesis supporting the post is not that a lady will sleep with you if you pay for her, the point is that she def won't sleep with you if you don't pay! Thus, she "may even sleep with you."

Are you a regular reader, I'm always obnoxious, chauvenistic, entertaining... that's the point of the site!