Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Introducing Jami and Other Things I’ve Been Thinking

3 weeks ago I found my twin brother and have been hanging out with him a lot lately. Jami was separated from me at birth and recently moved to NYC once we reconnected. He even changed his last name to match mine! He grew up in Iowa and went to college there. Now he’s an aspiring writer… at least that’s what I put on his Facebook profile. Huh? Confused yet? Well, to explain, I created him out of thin air. (Kinda like Idiot Boy)

He exists in my stories, on Facebook, and when I’m wearing fake glasses. His Facebook profile has a few pictures of him, and last weekend when I was walking around the city for 10 hours and 32 miles, I changed clothes and took some pictures with him. Here they are.

He’s also gotten some random Facebook friend requests recently. I sent this response to Amy, who invited Jami to a party.
Thanks for the message and I appreciate the invite. However, and unfortunately, I'm not a real person. I was created by someone with bipolar disorder so he could address his multiple personality issues. Good luck with your party and maybe my other personality will show up.

This other girl created a second FB profile for work, so she could invite random people to her company’s parties and events. I wrote this to her.
“What's up? It seems like your FB alter ego just requested my fake FB twin. Why are you sending requests? Shouldn't you attach lil descriptors/disclaimers of what/why you are doing it first?”

It’s not that I have so much free time; it’s that I’ve got to take breaks at work for stress relief reasons.

As I mentioned in my Q&A yesterday, I entered a program last week called Imentor, where you’re matched up with a high school kid for a minimum of a year. For time constraint purposes, it’ll likely cost me about 6 hours a month. I can handle that. The program requires that you email with your mentee once a week, in opening, body, closing paragraph style. The program gives the kids the topics, and they email you first, you merely respond. Additionally, once a month you meet with your mentee at an Imentor sponsored event. In order to get in, I had to give 4 references, get interviewed, and submit to fingerprinting. I don’t think I’ve been fingerprinted since elementary school. When I told that to the guy administering, I told him second grade was the last time I was arrested. I have not been accepted yet, and the mentoring runs on a school calendar, so I won’t start until October. However, my references have been called, and the diligence by the detective agency hired by Imentor for screening seems pretty good. I just hope that I have a fake twin brother, doesn’t exclude me from mentoring.

I Think This is What I Think about Leggings, Fashion Trends, Text Message Roulette and Other Things:
I don’t dislike leggings. I dislike leggings as pants unless you have a perfect ass. Leggings under a short skirt can be very sexy, but I don’t really like them underneath a long t-shirt or sweater where half of your ass is hanging out (again, unless you have a perfect ass). To me, it kinda takes the mystery away b/c its pretty much like seeing a girl’s body naked, but painted in black. It’s not sexy, it’s too revealing. Why not just walk around w/o no pants on at all.... I also prefer boy shorts to other types of underwear for the same reasons… Of course, I have no idea about fashion, considering I only follow about 7 rules.

I think that I’m so behind the fashion trends, that I could use this lack of expertise to make money. I think that once I learn about a trend, I should find that company’s stock and short it (sell it and hope it goes down). I think I heard about Lululemon, right about when their stock was at an all time high. I think Crocs followed the same pattern, as did many other things. I think I can make a lot of money with my uncoolness.

I think I don’t like guys with sideburns. I’m not sure how this differs from my total dislike of men in general, but I’m judgmental, and sideburns are a bad start.

I think I just learned what a two bagger is. I think the way it was described to me is that you put 2 bags on and would rather but your own arm off before you take the other bag off.

I think my experiment with avoiding texting is over. I think I started calling people and saying “I’m so tired” and then hanging up, b/c that’s what I would have done if I texted them. I think that just made it worse.
Speaking of texts, I think I play text message roulette every once in a while. I think about half of the text messages I send are teetering on the brink of obscene, offensive, mean spirited or damn right inappropriate. Considering this, often I’m not sure if I should send a message, and so I wait until I’m in an area with little or no wireless services. When there, I hit send, and that way I feel like whether the message goes through or not is in g-d’s hands. Yes, I leave some of my text messages to fate.


Anonymous said...

Great photos. Fun entry.

Daniella said...

those pix are awesome.

horsh said...

I guess you don;t like updating your blog...