Tuesday, June 09, 2009

WTF Week

Lotsa crap going wrong this week and I'm super scared of my presentation tomorrow. I made one of our junior analysts cut the bread in the kitchen for me today b/c I was sure that w/my luck, I was gonna lose a finger.

Anyway, I haven't posted "Ben dating" saga in a while... but since I'm not even close to dating anyone... I can now freely post about dating life w/or repercussions. Here's fun story w/a poll at the end.

Friday night I met this really cute, sweet nice girl. I memorized her number b/c my phone was dead and we made tentative plans to hang out Sunday night. I send her a text on Saturday "nice to meet you" with some other inside jokes about what we discussed the previous night. She responds, not w/a message, but w/a picture of herself a few hours later. A little weird, but much appreciated. Sunday I send another text "see you tonight, 7pm still good" and receive a response "I'm still at the beach, rain check this week?" Again, fine, no problems, seems like good news. We set up tentative plans for Wednesday via text. WHY DIDN'T I FOLLOW MY "NO DATING TEACHER'S THEY'RE ALL CRAZY" RULE?!?!

Yesterday I get a call from her totally out of the blue, unprovoked. I'm pretty excited when I answer. Then she tells me she is kinda seeing someone.... Then she tells me she wants to set me up w her friend, who I'd also met Friday night (but didn't talk to) and who was standing right next to her at the time. She then asks me if I wanted to talk to her. I say no. I was in shock. I actually have a good line for this situation, if the friend isn't standing right there. Total middle school flashbacks. I give the line anyway, stating "while your friend seemed great, I'm interested in you and knowing girls if I date her, it will ruin all chances I'd ever have with you, so I'd rather just wait. She was flattered, I'm sure her friend was highly insulted. I had mentioned Party At The Piers to her on Friday, and she told me to message her through facebook w/the information and maybe she'd come.

This is what I wrote: "I guess that was a lil strange... totally normal convo to have if she's not standing right there! Y ou know you could have told me this on Friday! (unless this is all a plan b/c you don't like me that much and she asked which is quite possible b/c girls def scheme like that)!

Anyway, you should def come on Saturday night! www.partyatthepiers.com - last year 450 people came. Outdoor drinking, open bar, on the water, raffles, dj, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if you know people who are going. Bring your boy, make him pay!

Take care, no hard feelings...write back and don't be a stranger."

I wasn't upset at that time but the more I thought about what she'd done, the more upset I became. She responded today:

"Now I feel all guilty!!!!!!!!!!!! I was just trying to be honest. I'm sorry if I shattered your hopes and dreams...

ha... I'll def keep in touch"

Now I'm pissed!

The Question is: WHAT DO I WRITE BACK?
(please vote)

A) Email full of WHAT I WANT TO SAY:

I don't want to be a jerk but I'm totally confused by you.

You wanted to be honest? You had so many opportunities to say something (or for your friend to say something for you).... Why send a picture and respond to my messages.... And why agree to hang out... And why make me repeat your phone number over and over in the bar to make sure I didn't forget... And why ask for a raincheck on Sunday? You wanted to be honest? I'm a nice person. I think we even discussed how you were too, and we discussed how you wouldn't have talked to me for so long if you were just wasting my time. That whole call yesterday was like middle school! I'm still shocked thinking back on it.

Wow, disappointed. But at least I've got an awesome new story for my website!

Hope you had a good birthday. (FB says her bday was last week)

Upside - I get it off my chest. She will never talk to me again.
Downside - She will never talk to me again. Awkwardness when I likely bump into her again.

B) Half way friendly w/a twang (and smiley faces):

You should feel guilty... If I actually knew you, you'd hear it from me...but since I'd only be alienating you, I'll refrain. :)

Any chance you want to upgrade? You should def hang out w/me, no strings... we got along well, why not?!

Hope to see you on Saturday! Bring the boy, 150 people got tkts already, 450 came last year. Great cause, not toooo expensive... outdoors, open bar, live music, what's better?

Upside - We may hang out, she knows I'm upset
Downside - She may not respond, or think I care too much.

C) Killing w/kindness:

No problem kiddo, I love when my hopes and dreams are crushed! :)
(I could even throw in a "We all make mistakes")

Hope to see you on Saturday, its gonna be awesome!

Upside - If we bump into eachother in the future, it could work. She may message when single again.
Downside - We are not gonna hang out anytime soon.

D) No response -

Upside - I don't waste my time
Downside - I don't waste my time

Some of you will ask me (and rightfully so) Why do I keep wasting my time w/this crap? Well... that's all that's out there!!!




Anonymous said...

I looked at this with fresh eyes this morning! ANYWAY! I read your posting last night...here’s my thought:

This girl seems a little fruity. She talked to you all friday night because she was interested, there is no doubt in my mind. She made you memorize her number! Hello!?!?! Is she really "sorta seeing someone?"....not really sure, but it was an easy way of loosening ties with you and ending anything before it could start. After that comment, it makes you wonder if she was really still at the beach sunday night...right? I think her solution of setting you up with her friend was silly and really infantile, especially with her friend standing there! So middle school and ridiculous. At this point, based on these scenarios, is this someone you'd even want to persue if she became available? Would you want to be friends with her? By the sound of your emails it sounds like this situation pissed you off...why would you even want to hang out with her Saturday night at your event?
No one deals well with rejection, myself included, but you need to learn to cut off ties with girls who do nothing for you and treat you like this, not worth your time. Delete the number! You will meet quality girls, YOU WILL! This girl is a complete tease and unfortunately, there are plenty more out there loving the attention. I would just keep your response back to a minimal few sentences... You don’t want to look like you put too much thought or time into it, rather show her your maturity level and your ability to move on.

SO kill her with kindness...you don’t care about her, nor will you see her again. (You should be deleting her number now.) Remember, when one door closes...another one opens!

“No hard feelings, it is what it is. Have a great weekend!”

Alright, read this again, let me know what you think.

Meistro said...

I can't delete her number...its memeorized...

I want her to come sat, so I can win...duh!

I should just send her this site!

Anonymous said...

You should be nice to her and then at Party at the Piers, go up to her boyfriend and be like "Did you ever hear the story of how we met?" Show the pictures she sent you and you have your revenge.

Anonymous said...

i voted for A b/c chances are you wont hear from her anyway - she is flakey, wishy-washy, and shady. I think that you will feel better saying your thoughts, and maybe it will actually get to her. As long as you are ok with the chance that she will share your email with all her friends, then i say go for it!

Anonymous said...

Her message to you, "I'm trying to be honest," what does that mean? You either are honest or not. If you are trying, then you're not! She absolutely misrepresented herself Fri night. Don't waste your time!

Anonymous said...

what did you end up writing this girl? hadn't checked your blog in a while, but this was a good story...some people...