Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Hipster?

I got a message from the Hurricane last night advising me not to come to a party b/c it was too hipster. "This is way too hipster for u." Unsure what that even meant, I told her I resented that comment and "I can handle anything. I can dress anything." After reading the below definition that my DJ sent me, I'm thinking maybe I couldn't handle it after all. Of course, the picture at the bottom could be why she didn't stay and/or want me there.

Hipster:

Listens to bands that you have never heard of. Has hairstyle that can only be described as "complicated." (Most likely achieved by a minimum of one week not washing it.) Probably tattooed. Maybe gay. Reads Black Book, Nylon, and the Styles section of the New York Times. Drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon. Often. Complains. Always denies being a hipster. Hates the word. Probably living off parents money - and spends a great deal of it to look like they don't have any. Has friends and/or self cut hair. Dyes it frequently (black, white-blonde, etc. and until scalp bleeds). Has a closet full of clothing but usually wears same three things OVER AND OVER (most likely very tight black pants, scarf, and ironic tee-shirt). Chips off nail polish artfully after $50 manicure. Sleeps with everyone and talks about it at great volume in crowded coffee shops. Addicted to coffee, cigarettes (Parliaments, Kamel Reds, Lucky Strikes, etc.), and possibly cocaine. Claims to be in a band. Rehearsals consist of choosing outfits for next show and drinking PBR. Always on the list. Majors or majored in art, writing, or queer studies. Name-drops. May go by "Penny Lane," "Eleanor Rigby," etc. when drunk. On PBR. Which is usually.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's not that you couldn't have handled it - it's more - why would you want to even have to?

Plus - you can't dress for anything - last I knew (and i hope!?) - you are not in posession of tight black pants... and if you are then i think you have to get off your whole 'leggings are not pants' platform...

Anonymous said...

Ben, if you go to Williamsburg, Greenpoint or Dumbo --it’s a hipster haven! My boss always describes them as scrungy with a plumber's crack, tight black jeans, beards, nerdy glasses, converse’s with no socks, maybe seen in a Smith’s t-shirt but don’t know who the Smiths are...roll their own cigarettes.. Everyone in Williamsburg “freelances”...so it’s packed of people eating lunch in all the restaurants during the day...nothing opens until 11 because they are still sleeping from the party the night before...

Catrina said...

Really? You had to post that picture?

Anonymous said...

Why doesn't she just say: "You're too old to come!"