Monday, November 23, 2009

Q&A for Men (Who are Acting Like Women)

Questions from men, answered by a man-ish:

Q: I have been emailing with this girl for a few days that I met at a party last week. I’m not sure she’s interested and I don’t want to ask for her number and get rejected b/c we’ll be seeing a lot of each other in the future due to our mutual friends. She’s not very responsive to the emails, but I believe that’s because she’s either A) busy or B) just doesn’t like email. She takes a while to respond and doesn’t really put in much effort to answer all the questions and whatnot. We got along great in person though. How can I find out w/o it getting weird?

A: Try sending an email like this: “I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, b/c you could possibly be really young, but the proper way to respond to an email is to answer all the questions asked of you, then ask a few more of your own to elicit a similar response from me Perhaps, growing up in the cell phone age, you are more accustomed to texting… if you’d like to switch to that format of communication, I believe it can be arranged.”

Feel free to end that email with “I’d be happy to oblige” or “I suppose I can acquiesce” or “I guess I can make the sacrifice” instead of the other suggested line.

If she likes you, she’ll laugh, she'll apologize and respond with a full email and she’ll send her number. If not, she’ll say she’s been really busy, but you’ll know, and it won’t be awkward going forward. At that time, you’re welcome to tease the crap out of her with “you could have told me” or “I’m pretty sure I’m your #1 priority” or something to that affect or effect.

Q: My friend has a date with a girl on a Sunday. He doesn’t know what time to make it for. Is 7:30 too early? I feel like it’s a pretty “safe” time to offer up. It’s a first date so he's nervous.

A: Is he a woman? Tell him to stop thinking too much because no girl likes a guy who cares too much before he should. I used to get nervous all the time, those girls were the ones who didn’t like me back because it was sooo obvious how much I wanted it. 7:30 is fine for a Sunday, but it can’t end before 9pm b/c she’ll get home and wonder what she’s doing the rest of the evening. He has gotta make it last until 10pm, but can’t go much past 11 b/c it’s Sunday. Perhaps, 8:15pm is the best time to be on the “safe” side.

Q: I met this girl at an event on Wednesday and on Friday a girl w/the same first name emailed the group some “spam-ish” type email. What should I respond with? I don’t even know if it’s the same girl.

A: I need background on her, your conversations with her.

Q: We were talking about how after the event she was going to break it off w/some guy she was dating. Don’t remember much else.

A: Email “Hi ####: Thanks for the mass email! (you are teasing her) Are you the Alli I met on Wednesday at the Event? If you are, then it was great to meet you and I hope the dumping of that guy went great. If you are not, then you should feel honored to be confused with such a lovely lady. Take care”

Q: How far ahead of time do you have to look if you want to buy a place?

A: Guest Response b/c I have no clue:
*3 months to close (could be less, but plan for worst)
*1 month for negotiation/acceptance of bid
*1-3 months of looking before you find a place you really like

Obviously all of these can be shorter (or longer) like if you find the place of your dreams the first apt. you go into. But otherwise, I think that is about right.


Anonymous said...

for question #1 - if a guy wrote that to me I would think he is an asshole and would not be interested, even if I was considering it before hand

Meistro said...

For question 1: He edited out the "young" comment and made the whole thing sound a little more smoothe...but left the jist in tact.

She responded "Maybe we should just get a drink and communicate in person"

The end.

Of course...she's on the husband hunt.

Anonymous said...

I agree with SW. It sounded condescending and interested.